Actually just one hillbilly.
I'm driving with my parents down to florida and then flying back. I've never flown, flew, flied, (god it sux to be dumb) before and I think I might be nervous. It's not the plane up in the air that I'm afraid of though, it's the people.
Thanks to reading Mr. 15 Minute Lunch everyday, I am now good and freaked out about getting on a putrid smelling, germ infested, lung tissue spotted flying hell hole. It's not a complete loss though, at least I have been properly educated on etiquette. This is what I've gathered so far:
-I will not speak.
-I will bathe before getting on the plane.
-I will not use a retarded amount of perfume.
-I will freak out trying to figure out which arm rest is mine and then in fear not use one at all.
-I will look my hottest.
-I will observe nasal courtesy. i.e. no snorting snot (eeeeew)
-I will not lean my seat back, or attempt to adjust it.
-I will not kick the seat in front of me.
Ok this is what I can think of right now, if anybody has more to add I would appreciate it. Also I would appreciate it if someone would tell me how the hell I'm going to come off of this without Ebola.
Thank You.
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11 comments:
Oh, if so many of my flights had people who observed the "I will not speak" rule.
Looking your hottest is probably critical.. second only to bathing of course.
Well of course.
One more tip -- Don't eat garlic anything at least two days before your flight. It takes 24 hours to work its way out of your system.
Other than that, I'd love it if you could sit next to me on my flight back from Orlando Sunday.
Garlic. Check.
I'm throwing out onions as well, you just never know.
also - shoes on at all times.
and please don't drop any kids off at the pool.
good luck with this. i know you'll do fine.
Kids? Pool?
I know I'm missing something here.
LOL. Its a phrase for "going #2"
Never do that no a plane!
Ok so you paid me back for the Paul Simon dive.
Touche.
You guys should make a handbook.
Don't forget your iPod. You might need to ignore the talkative 80 year old man next to you that is trying to pick you up. It happened to me. Be afraid.
Hey, don't blame me. You were putting out all the signals.
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