I moved into the Ghetto this weekend.
I've always lived in the country and quite frankly I hate my new Ghetto home. Singing Elvis' song "In the Ghetto" as preformed by Cartman from South Park makes me feel a leeeeetle beter. But not enough to stop me from wanting to kick the snow plow dudes ass.
We received a lovely dump of 20 inches of snow saturday night. The snow is pretty and there's nothing I can do to stop it so I can't really bitch about it. That is, until the snow plow fucker rams a half ton of it onto my car.
Since I am a hillbilly, I of course have experience in snow plowing. Damn it, it's not rocket science. A snow plow has this great little function that allows it to be angled to which ever direction is necessary.
Dear Snow Fucker,
The correct position of your plow for slinging crap off the road at 40 mph is
is the position that angles it AWAY from my car. Yes Asshole that means you need to angle it into the middle of the road and then yes, I'm sorry, go over it again, and again,
until you get all of it pushed up into my yard, all the while tearing up what little grass
we have. Yes retard, YARD not CAR. Bitch. (Kill the grass I hate to mow anyways.)
It took me an hour to shovel myself out and get my car un-stuck. An entire hour of swearing out loud and repeatedly slipping and falling on my ass. At least the swearing and falling made me laugh at myself, and yes the snow is beautiful but I still want to stick my shovel up his ass.
OH yes, I feel many good times will be had in the Ghetto. I am cracker, hear me swear folks.
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11 comments:
That would be enough for me to call in sick. Just sayin'.
Yeah, you might be a bit brighter than me. :)
What.. and deny the neighborhood the show?
1 - I love my garage. FACE! (yeah I did)
2 - I sing "In the Ghetto" as sung by Cartman ALL THE TIME! Awesome.
I hope to one day be a garage hor.
I bet one of her neighbors has a blog about her.
That would be so cool. I could totally put on a show for them.
Are there any homes for sale on your block?
Hiya - new person to your blog. Came here from Slacker/kp's comments. You are one funny gal. I mean - I don't know anything about snowplows, but I'm actually commenting about the compilation that is you blog. You've been bookmarked. Just sayin.
Cruisermel, I'm a big dork and you totally made my day.
I even know that it's nerdy of me to say thank you but I just can't help myself.
You're welcome.
That makes us both dorks.
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