It was my first Birthday with C. that we were able to REALLY celebrate and I'll admit I've been a tad over-ly excited about what he would get me for a gift. Self absorbed? Wrong to care about a gift so much? Especially when HE is a gift enough? ALL of that -YES - but I am what I am, deal with it.
I guess all I really have to say is "How thoughtful." And it WAS really thoughtful. He got me one of those portable massagers that goes on a chair. He said he thought it would be really nice for me to take to work because I have a desk job and I sit all day. It took him two weeks of searching to find something he thought I'd like and he was really nervous about it. SOOOO could I tell him that I HATE those things? That I've always hated massage chairs or those stupid hand-held massagers for your back? (unless it's a "personal" massager ;) I hate it)
Well no. He really tried so hard to make it a thoughtful gift, and it's not his fault that he doesn't KNOW that I can't stand the BBBBZZZZZZZZZ BBBBBBZZZZZZZZZ vibration of the damn chair cover that is supposed to whisk me away to bliss-land.
I wish I were smarter because I'll give it credit it's got serious BBBBBZZZZZ power. Ya think there's any way I could turn it into a lady-flower vibrator? What if I cut it open and took out the vibrators and made them into a toy? It's got a cool remote control that would really kick ass. PLUS he's expecting me to take it to work so he'd never know what happened as long as I got rid of the evidence.
It's got like 14 separate vibrators though. That'd be a lot. Could I take some off without shorting it out like a set of christmas lights? I don't know anything about electronics. MMMMmmmmmm I wonder what I could put them inside?
Damn it DOES have a lot of power and the remote control IS really neato AND it's electric. If I don't get up the guts to kill THIS chair I'm gonna go out and buy another one just so I can make my own "toy." A good vibrator at the naughty store can run like $70 but I'm betting if I wait till the after-christmas-clearance sales I could get one of those mat-things really cheap. Oh lord this could be so cool!
Maybe this wasn't such a horrid gift at all!! He just opened up a whole world that I never knew could exist!! Too bad I can never TELL him, but still. Kick ass!
12 comments:
Happy, Happy Birthday, Hor!! You have a devious mind, but that's why I love ya! I didn't forget your birthday...but I just mailed the package today. Should get it in 2-3 days, k? XOXO
Really??? You don't have to do that, oh my that's just so nice and kind and I'm gonna start shuffling my feet and blushing.
*shuffle shuffle*
Yep I knew it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!And why didn't I know it was when it was??!
Cuz I didn't announce it silly :)
That way nobody has to come by and say Happy Birthday!! I'm a complete TARD and can never remember it's a persons birthday untill 1-4 days afterward and am ALWAYS the idiot with the last comment on someones blog saying "Happy really-extra-belated Birthday!!! It's not you it's me!!"
SO, I didn't announce it so people wouldn't have to think that they have to remember it.
Ok and I also wasn't gonna have a cool birthday chat-session like you and I'm lame. When's your B-day agian????????? ;)
You could always try to wrap it around say a piece of firewood or a sturdy bucket, straddle it and ride your electric love pony to blisstown.
Happy Birthday!
Ryan, Hillbillies really do have firewood most of the time, good thinking. :) "Hey mom can I have a peice of your wood?"
Oh well that didn't come out right. Ah well at least I didn't type "dad."
And thank you! :)
Happy Birthday hon! And, I have an idea about your gift, a bit similar to Ryan's... why don't you stick some sort of post onto the seat part that you, erm, wrap your legs around. Then, you could turn on the chair at work, wriggle the post into your important parts and start practicing with all 14 settings to see which one will, er, 'promote' you the fastest... might take your mind off your day a little? Nobody would notice if you made it the right size...
HOR!!! Send me that massage chair thingy. I think I could flatten it out a bit and punch a small hole in it...
Sparx - Oh lordy you are one crazy mamma. Strike that sorry - Biker Mamma. ;) But no dice I've got a suede-like chair and I'm afraid the moisture would ruin it.
Dyck - Talk about a hummer.
Happy Birthday!!!!! You are SO creative!
Happy B-lated Birthday! Someone gave my husband one of those chair vibrator things a long time ago. Yes, you can take it apart and take the fun stuff out! Once he got tired of it and forgot about it, I did. Not as fancy as the one you have in the photo, but it worked well.
Happy Birthday!
Forty five was my worst.. I kept thinking, oh shit I'm almost 50!
Now that I am 50 I'm so pissed off at myself for wasting so much time worrying about turning it. DER..
Now I would LOVE one of those vibrater chair matts.. help with my old aching joints...lol
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