I Drunk-Called a Church Lady

Friday night as my designated driver friend was driving me home I came up with the great idea to partake in my first ever Drunk-Call. A friend of mine used to call me every weekend at least twice at ANY hour of the night/morning with his crazy drunken calls of friendship and affection and drunken silliness. I got used to it after a while and eventually had to turn my phone off at night. C. didn't quite understand why there was a guy calling me at 4 a.m. you know? Yeah.

SO, Friday night I decided to repay S. the favor and leave him my very own drunken message.

Slight problem with that. He had called earlier in the day as well as a nice lady that I go to church with. I didn't have either of their names stored in my cell phone but finally got around to it just that day. Yay for me! Way to go ending that procrastination streak!

You're not stoopid, you know where this is going don't you?

I scrolled down to S. and proceeded to make my call. I got voicemail and so very unlucky for me it was one of those automated voicmails. You know, the kind where they don't actually do the talking and you don't REALLY know if it's them or not? Yeah.

I proceeded to say "S.!!! Guess Whaaatttt?? I'm Drunk! And I'm drunk calling you because you always used to drunk call me but now I'M drunk and so I'm calling you because I'm drunk and I have a phone and HOW ARE YOU S.?? I'll bet you're drunk too, we're cool like that." I yelled to my friend. "F!! Say hi to S.!!" F. kindly answered back "What's uuuuuuppp BEEEE-OOOTCH!!" "What's yo crazy ass doin!!" After that I don't really remember what all else I said. It's kind of foggy and lost on me and I don't even know how long I went on for. It's a good thing I had a desi-driver.

Fast Forward to the next day. My phone is ringing and I see that S. is calling. I laugh and realize he's probably returning my call. I answered the phone and say "Hey! What's up?!"

And then my little world came to a halt. I heard a womans voice. "Lindy? Are you Ok?" I looked down at my caller I.D. It SAYS S. So I say "S.?" "This isn't S is it." She answers back "No, this is N. Are you alright?"

Oh. My. Gawd. I am in a small get together and study Jesus-stuff group with this woman and she goes to my church. Ohhhh Myyyyy Gawwwwwwwwwwwwd. OH no. Please no. Tell me I didn't.

She never brought it up but she had heard through the other group members what's going on with C. and she wanted to call and see if I was ok. And you know, if I needed ANYTHING, EVER that I could call her and they would always "be there" for me.

The cool thing about these people and the church that I attend is that they're not in the business of judging and condemning people. Basically we are a church of people who know that we are all sinners, we all screw up, and we all are GOING to screw up. We just try and stick together and work on not being such screw ups and support each other. The small group that I'm in is made up of mostly people who came from backgrounds that had NOTHING to do with church. They had they're own partying days and lots more, but all at one time or another decided to try and change their ways. The cool thing is they all seem much better off for their decision and it's nice to see.

I don't tell them about my blog - obviously - and I struggle with the fact that I write it, but that's not for today.

TODAY is the day that I tell all my blog-pals and the world what a supreme reeeetarrdddd I am and let you all laugh at me. I'm sure I'll laugh at me at some point during the future, but only after our next meeting - and I'm assured that they're not going to discreetly hand me a pamphlet for AA.

Oh. My. Gawd. You guys. Seriously. Oh. My. Gawd.