I heard out in CA that that stereotype is pasted on "inese" people, you know like Chinese, Vietnamese, ect. But anyways HERE it goes to the folks from the south.
But you guys? After this weekend and a certain road trip I sort of think that the Latinos KNOW about this stereotype and I think they BELIEVE it. I don't know if they believe it because it's TRUE or because they know about the stereotype and've been convinced, but I've gotta tell ya these folks are covering their bases JUST. IN. CASE.
I was in a vehicle with a family of Mexicans this weekend and couldn't help but notice their interesting interior decorations. Holy Crap. They had TWO pictures of Jesus TAPED to the ceiling of the SUV (suv's are SO the new van) on either side of the driver. Added to that is a picture of the current Pope (sorry J. Paul you've been booted!) also TAPED, up on the ceiling under one of the Jesus pictures.
Add to this 3, yes THREE different beaded cross chains hanging from the rear view mirror, not to be out done by a laminate, green fringed picture of Jesus with a "Prayer for the driver" written on the back.
Add to this a key chain on their key-ring with a picture of the guy they deem as the patron saint to protect drivers AND - OMG ANNNDDD an OPEN bible resting on the dash. Not just a bible but an OPEN bible. Oh man you guys I SO wanted to take a picture of what ever page it was on and translate it but I didn't get the chance. And no, they didn't just come from church, the bible stays.
Here is an artists rendition of the situation to give you a better idea.
I er, the "artist" sort of had a tough time with drawing people so you've been provided with a handy J or P to help you get the full effect of Jesus and the Pope.
On to the real question - Did they live up to the myth?? Well. Actually the guy was a really careful driver. We didn't manage over 49 on back roads or over 59 on the expressway. Yeah, 59 on the expressway kind of makes me want to start chewing on my fingers and banging my head against the seat in front of me but hey at least he was in the slow lane. Granted neither of the front passengers wore a SEAT BELT for shit's sake and DDDAAAMMMNNNNN IIITTT they seemed oblivious to the "ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding," of the warning bell that WOULDN'T GIVE UP in warning them that they were in fact not wearing their seat belts. "Ding DIng DINg DING DDIINNGG!!!!" I considered screaming "FOR JESUS SAKE PUT ON YOUR DAMN BELTS!!!!" at one point but sort of figured it wouldn't go over too well. If you hadn't guessed I've got sort of a weird FREAK out reaction to anything that goes ding ding ding more than twice.
For shit's sake when he got out to get gas the guy left his door ajar and it dinged for a full 5 minutes. While everyone else was apparently oblivious and decided to continued conversation I partook in SERIOUS fantasies of flying over the front seats, grabbing the keys and eating them. Instead I sat, slowly imploding, wishing for an aneurysm to take me out of my misery and remained in place.
Maybe they didn't think they needed seat belts with all of the divine intervention that was clearly planned in case of an accident but gauging by the fact that they had 7 yes SEVEN various rock chips out of the windshield, I'm not thinking that bible is doing them much good.
All in all it was a good trip, accident free - YAY - and we got to end the day with homemade tortillas so o.k., it's all good. I DO wonder about all of their paraphernalia but thankfully for my grey matter I can easily fall back on the safety in which I was brought up - to each his own, and respect differences. Seat belts? That's a different story but I made sure that C. and I were strapped in, Pope or no Pope I'm not all about going through a windshield. Granted we were only going fast enough to probably be thrown only HALF way through the windshield but whatever.
16 comments:
I admire your self restraint. I would have FOR SURE blown and told them to make the effin' bleeping stop.
You DESERVE your engagement ;)
Why thank you :)
AAhh you changed from bel to belle too. So what's with the change? Incognito?
So true about CA and the -inese! It also seems to hold true for the Phillipinos - HUGE SUV in the 'fast' lane going 50? $5 says it is a Phillipino man.
Apparently the Latinos have rubbed off on the Mormons (or visa versa). In the case of those from south of the border, lots of God paraphanilia = no need for seat belts. For the Mormons, lots of fait in God = no need to wear helmets when bicycling around town. I hope God is good to them both . . . or that they at least have clean underwear on to show the doctor in the ER when their banged-up asses are brought in.
That should read 'faith'.
Hmmmm.... Up here in the frozen tundra, if someone is driving slowly in the fast lane, it just means that they are an asshole. It could be any race, sex, creed, etc, but they are assholes and are treated thusly.
Por Ejemplo:
- We flip them off
- We run them off of the road into the barrier in the center of the highway
- We call 911 and report them as a drunk driver
Etc.
Fun stuff this blog of yours.
it's not that they want to drive slow; it's that there are 30 of 'em in the back of the truck, and all the weight makes it hard to accelerate.
The only things with motors that Mexicans should be operating are lawnmowers and leaf blowers.
This is why I ALWAYS offer to drive...I hate being trapped in the death seat!
Of course, I don't have any rosaries or pictures of Jesus or the Holy Father in my car either, so I guess I should be the one driving just to be sure I arrive alive, eh?
I went to Argentina when I was 17 for a performance show that I was in for school. We stayed there 2 weeks and we were driven around in a mini bus with an Argentinian driver. O. M. G. I think my eyes were closed the whole 2 weeks of riding around in the mini bus! Holy fuck! Those people don't play! Car ahead of them slowing down? just swerve into the oncoming traffic and go around them without ever stepping on the brakes. Quickly miss the guy walking across the street, then speed up to make the light and narrowly miss hitting the car in front that is already slowing down because of the light. But to tell you the truth, I don't think I would have made it 1/2 a mile if I was driving down there. They might be crazy drivers, but they know what they're doing!
Inese drivers. Haha.
My Dad always said they got their licenses out of cracker jack boxes.
Driving - I think the folks around here would throw Philipinos into the large lump sum of "brown person with a mustache." Sad I know, but true. Eeek I'll have to send a prayer to my God for your silly bicycle people.
ADW - Assholes, true-dat, and well I guess there's always the usual "Old People" assumption but ya know I was doing a theme. So it's ok if I run slow old people of the road and flip them off? Well shit I've got a lot of making up to do, where'er my keys?? Thanx for stoping by and commenting! :)
Jeremy - Silly they made that illegal like 5 years ago. It's more likely that they don't have a license and are trying damn hard not to get pulled over.
Dyck - Hey asswipe don't forget that they can run a dishwasher too. Geez some people.
Sassy - Yep, girlie since you're Catholic and not toting beads and Mother Mary T-shirts you BETTER drive safe. Jesus is watching you know.
Jenny - Argentina? Are they brown people?
S. Curious - A cracker jack box? Hell I'm lucky to get a sticker, these days all you get are trivia questions. SONS OF BITCHES a trivia question is NOT FUCKING, NOT a prize. Bastards.
I love this: I partook in SERIOUS fantasies of flying over the front seats, grabbing the keys and eating them.
I soooo understand. This is what driving with my aunt is like. She was married to a Hispanic man.
Just FYI -- the Mormon missionaries are *supposed* to wear helmets. But they're overgrown teenagers and I'm sure think they know better.... ;o)
Shit, just reading those ding ding ding words made me put my eyes out with a steak knife. Maybe you need to carry ear plugs with you for just those occasions, my dear. Don't leave home without them. (Weren't you the one who talked me into buying ear plugs back when I was having to endure heavy metal bands with whatwashisname?)
Blogget - What's the deal with Morman Missionaries and bikes? They can't drive? I'm lost.
Cruiser - You mean Little Bitch Boy? You remembered THAT?? You crack me up! And yes, you're right. Hell they might come in handy with the Tuba/Accordian music as well. Ughhh.
They can drive under certain circumstances, like if one of them isn't physically able to bike around or they have an unusually long way to travel.
I think the prevailing idea behind the bikes is that they have more chances to visit with and help people if they are on bikes. They are supposed to not only visit with people about religious things, but also to be on the lookout for opportunities to serve and help the people they run across -- regardless of religion or desire to hear about it.
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