THIS GUY Went on a crime spree in an Adult Toy Store and only managed to steal Blow-up Dolls.Douche-Bag! He didn't bother to take videos, magazines or even freaking LUBE! What a dildo. Shit it's near Christmas, he could have at least picked up a few things for his friends and family while he was at it. It was FREE, geez he really could have gone all-out. What a plug.
I (if I decided to knock off a toy store with my pellet gun) would take one of every kind of lube so I could sample them all. That'd be fun. (Ok and I'd take ALL of the Astroglide cus it's the SHIT!) Then I'd go to the hi-priced dildo's and grab two of each. TWO because I could try them all out and give away the other set to my friends.
Ooo and I'd get a whole bunch of those dirty board games and doo-dads and party favors so I'd never have to shop for an engagement party again.
AND I'd grab up a bunch of the dirty Christmas cards cuz my mom thinks those are funny. How do I know that? Gaahhh in a past life I actually took my mom to the "Toy" store -WITH the guy I was with at the time - yes I have no shame. I wanted to show her "The Fist" and the big giant black dildo's cuz I thought they were hilarious but all she wanted to do was pick out cards to send to people. Ah well, can't blame her. But yeeeeaaahhhh that was a fun time when she saw the butt-plugs and I got to explain why they weren't just funny looking dildos. Good times.
Wait, I wonder if he was into the lesser known blow-up dolls -Maybe he was just to ashamed to buy what he REALLY needs to get off. Ah well, he must be a couple batteries short an orgasm if he doesn't know about internet shoping. Too bad for him!
What a bone-head.
10 comments:
What would I get?
You should get astroglide a vibrator and a small "starter" dildo.
Oh wait you asked what WOULD you get? The funny candy? Free gum?
No, you'd take the money.
The first one was right.
But if I were wondering what would I take, then yeah, money's it.
That's my girl!!
Actually, taking the dolls was pretty smart. Hostages are great for negotiations.
Absolutely nothing to do with this post:
I made sugar cookies yesterday and then you asked me for a sugar cookie recipe. What a coincidence!! Come by and see... and read the reply to your comment if this is not the recipe you have in mind. xoxo
Dyck, you're always thinkin man, gotta hand it to ya. SO! Wanna knock of a dildo store with me???
Jenny - EEEE!!! Dildos and cookies...."these-are-a-few-of-my- fav-or-rite-things!"
Those stores make me nervous.
They also make me scared. They have dildos you could club a rhincerous to death with and 10 pound butt plugs. I fear being in a store like that when a woman capable of using one of those monstrosities comes in.
Ryan, yeah maybe you SHOULDN'T go on that safari.
Pussy.
XOXOX's ;)
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