Disturbing much? I'll explain in a minute.But FIRST. OH MY GOSH omygoshohmygosh *running-in-circles- running-in-circles* Sometimes when I get REALLY excited I run in circles and glee "ohmygoodnessohmygosh" like Cartman on South Park, partly for comedic affect and part because it's fun and amusing and makes me even MORE happy to be doing something goofy. Sometimes I run back-and-forth really fast (that way I don't get dizzy.)
Ohmygosh I'm still not over it!! SASSY sent me a birthday gift! Holycowholycowohmygosh. And it's CLOTHES oh bejeesus I LOOOVVE clothes! I really really DO! And she sent me some!! Oh holycrap and they FIT! (PSSSST my mom can't even buy me clothes that fit, she's never been able to, bless her heart, but ne-ver.)
Oh lord oh my gosh and they're CUTE!! EEEEEE!!!! Sassy I totally got the "Cute as a button" joke - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH oh, ohmygosh that is SO friggin funny. Ok so it DID take me like 14 minutes for it to sink in, but I DID get it and when I did I bought fell out of my standing position. AHAHAHAHHAAH If you don't know what I'm talking about then read THIS POST (and our comments) and you'll get it.
She sent me a cute as shit Graphic Tee AND a warm and fuzzy and comfy sweater shirt and a HILLBILLY Birthday Card! HAHAHAHAHHA it's so funny it has butt crack and EVERYTHING!!. OOOO!! And Sassy did you notice the freakin neato neckline on the fuzzy shirt? I've never seen anything like that before and when I did I was like "Ooooo that's gonna look funny or fit weird or something" But OHMYGOSH then I tried it on and it's so COOL! It's interesting and FLATTERING! Where has this neckline BEEN all my life? OHHH and the colors match so I can layer the fuzzy shrit under the t-shirt and wear it right now even though it's cold out! How sweet is that? Actually I really love layering shirts (it's the only cool thing I know how to do - literally.)
BTW we DO have one of those stores around here but since moving here I've never been to it because I didn't know what it was (hahahaha I thought it was a sporting goods store GUFAWW) and now I'm TOTALLY going to be taking my butt down there because if a woman that I've never met in real-life can find me two perfect shirts (ohmygoshohmygosh let's run in circles a tad more) than I'm thinking I'm gonna LOVE this place!
Ohmygosh I'm still not over it!! SASSY sent me a birthday gift! Holycowholycowohmygosh. And it's CLOTHES oh bejeesus I LOOOVVE clothes! I really really DO! And she sent me some!! Oh holycrap and they FIT! (PSSSST my mom can't even buy me clothes that fit, she's never been able to, bless her heart, but ne-ver.)
Oh lord oh my gosh and they're CUTE!! EEEEEE!!!! Sassy I totally got the "Cute as a button" joke - AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH oh, ohmygosh that is SO friggin funny. Ok so it DID take me like 14 minutes for it to sink in, but I DID get it and when I did I bought fell out of my standing position. AHAHAHAHHAAH If you don't know what I'm talking about then read THIS POST (and our comments) and you'll get it.
She sent me a cute as shit Graphic Tee AND a warm and fuzzy and comfy sweater shirt and a HILLBILLY Birthday Card! HAHAHAHAHHA it's so funny it has butt crack and EVERYTHING!!. OOOO!! And Sassy did you notice the freakin neato neckline on the fuzzy shirt? I've never seen anything like that before and when I did I was like "Ooooo that's gonna look funny or fit weird or something" But OHMYGOSH then I tried it on and it's so COOL! It's interesting and FLATTERING! Where has this neckline BEEN all my life? OHHH and the colors match so I can layer the fuzzy shrit under the t-shirt and wear it right now even though it's cold out! How sweet is that? Actually I really love layering shirts (it's the only cool thing I know how to do - literally.)
BTW we DO have one of those stores around here but since moving here I've never been to it because I didn't know what it was (hahahaha I thought it was a sporting goods store GUFAWW) and now I'm TOTALLY going to be taking my butt down there because if a woman that I've never met in real-life can find me two perfect shirts (ohmygoshohmygosh let's run in circles a tad more) than I'm thinking I'm gonna LOVE this place!
The last couple of weeks have been SO fun! I got to send off a couple things of my own and I received a post card all the way from CROATIA from KRISSIE How freakin neato is THAT? CROATIA!! That's totally far away!! And she wrote a really sweet note and it made me feel all good and stuff. I'm just flabbergasted.
And now this ! OH dear Sassy thank you so much. I just, my goodness I'm not even sure how to handle myself except for
And now this ! OH dear Sassy thank you so much. I just, my goodness I'm not even sure how to handle myself except for
THANK YOU FOR TOTALLY MAKING MY
WEEK! I'll never-ever forget this.
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Now, on to a tad more serious subject. I WANTED to put up pictures of myself modeling my new Sassy Clothes but there's this whole Anonymous thing. OKAY and my digi camera fell in my cats water dish and I didn't know it for 2 hours so it's sorta dead and I'm waiting for my new one to come (yay warranty.) But there's another reason. And it starts with the second half of my title.
Freaked-OUT WACK Google searches that people are coming to me by. Cuz Wow and Damn.
At least once a DAY I get someone coming my way by the search of "I had sex with my sister" Or "Sex with my sister" or "Anal with my Sister." FUCK FUCKING SHIIIIITTTT Leave you DAMN SISTER ALONE YOU DISTURBED ASSHOLE!!! And quite frankly I don't even know how these people are getting here because I've never even MET my sister let alone had sex with her and WROTE about it. Eeeaalllkkk, go get counseling or a prostitute, your choice but leave your sister ALONE.
THEN there are the "Boy" searches. Ya know I was going to write a few of them out but I just can't. I don't want to repeat what I've seen or have my blog pals read it so I'm just going to leave it to this -
THERE ARE NO BOYS HERE, GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY BLOG YOU SICK FUCKING FREAK AND GO GET SOME HELP SO YOU CAN SEARCH FOR ANAL SEX WITH WOMEN LIKE A NORMAL MAN. SHOOOOOO!!!
Okay, now. On a lighter note, how many of you agree with me that this next search was actually made by a man and not a woman? "I need a man to give me anal." Riigggghhhhttt cuz there's a girl REALLY searching for that. AHahahah I'm pretty sure it was a GUY trolling for his dream dirty girl.
OOO!! Here's one that I actually kind of liked. "Older women giving blow jobs." Okay so yeah he's a dirty guy looking for porn on the internet but hey! At least he's trying to stay in his age group and is giving "Older" women credit. (well ok or he's a younger guy with a fetish but HEY go girls, pick that boy UP!
Freaked-OUT WACK Google searches that people are coming to me by. Cuz Wow and Damn.
At least once a DAY I get someone coming my way by the search of "I had sex with my sister" Or "Sex with my sister" or "Anal with my Sister." FUCK FUCKING SHIIIIITTTT Leave you DAMN SISTER ALONE YOU DISTURBED ASSHOLE!!! And quite frankly I don't even know how these people are getting here because I've never even MET my sister let alone had sex with her and WROTE about it. Eeeaalllkkk, go get counseling or a prostitute, your choice but leave your sister ALONE.
THEN there are the "Boy" searches. Ya know I was going to write a few of them out but I just can't. I don't want to repeat what I've seen or have my blog pals read it so I'm just going to leave it to this -
THERE ARE NO BOYS HERE, GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY BLOG YOU SICK FUCKING FREAK AND GO GET SOME HELP SO YOU CAN SEARCH FOR ANAL SEX WITH WOMEN LIKE A NORMAL MAN. SHOOOOOO!!!
Okay, now. On a lighter note, how many of you agree with me that this next search was actually made by a man and not a woman? "I need a man to give me anal." Riigggghhhhttt cuz there's a girl REALLY searching for that. AHahahah I'm pretty sure it was a GUY trolling for his dream dirty girl.
OOO!! Here's one that I actually kind of liked. "Older women giving blow jobs." Okay so yeah he's a dirty guy looking for porn on the internet but hey! At least he's trying to stay in his age group and is giving "Older" women credit. (well ok or he's a younger guy with a fetish but HEY go girls, pick that boy UP!
Alright, now on to Question and Answer time!"How to use a love bunny Sex Toy" - Darling you came to the right place! Get some fresh batteries, some GOOD lube (not crappy store brand lube) turn that baby on and do what EVER makes you feel good with it. There's no right or wrong (as long as it's LEGAL) when it comes to sex toys. You just buzz and rub and maybe poke that thing around until you've found what makes yo lady-flower HAPPY.
"Do girls like anal Sex?" - No. UUUUuuugghhhh okay okay so some CLAIM to but whatever, YAY for them I guess but for me and most of the people I know, NO. Do some women do it with their men just for the heck of it and to spice things up once in a while? Yeah, but I'm not saying they LIKE it.
"Where to hide Dildos?" "Where can I hide my dildo" - The safest harbor for ANY dildo is a safety deposit fire-proof lock box. Ok OR you can get one of those cheaper lock boxes that people use for petty cash. Just make sure it can lock and then just make up something about keeping something important like old diaries or doubles of family photos (something your man or roommate won't CARE about enough to try and snoop. You can get these boxes pretty cheap at Walmart so go for it. Oh, and hide your key in a big ole box of tampons, he's not gonna go there."What does a blowjob taste like?" Go HERE and then to HERE and be sure to read the comments from my blog pals because they know stuff.
Last but not least I'd like to say "Sorry Dude" for the many MANY leads I get here from people searching for "Hash." I prefer Hashbrowns these days and my pot days are over but HEY sometimes I'm funny so come back when you're in giggle-mode, bring your Funyuns and settle in for a bit. AND for all of the "Men giving Men blow jobs," and such, sorry wrong site. Nothing against it, but I'm just not a man so I guess I sort of don't have what your looking for.
HAHA okay so it DOES make me kind of laugh that gay guys have to deal with with their partners looking for porn in the internet just like strait women do. I know it's evil, but haaaaaa. Okay, sorry.
15 comments:
ooh LMAO!
Belated HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, girl! Not quite sure when it was, but at the ripe old age of 18 my memory isn't what it used to be, lol.
as for the things people get to your blog for... don't worry. Publicity is fine as long as you can handle it :P
Newsflash: every time you write what brought someone to your blog (for instance sex with my sister), it just brings more of those psychos over here.
So you basically brought it onto yourself, Hor.
Suki - OH lord your only 18?? Gahh, ah well, if I think about myself at 18 I guess it's ok. And at least you'll be able to learn by our goof-ups what took us years to get at.
Krissie - Yeah I know but their already here and I wanted to talk about it. But thank you (PPPllllllllllblblblblblblbl) - that would be me sticking my tounge out and blowing at you. ;)
Well, Happy Birthday, Hor-gal! I hope it was a great one -- sounds like it!!
And those searches are unbelievable. Reminds me of my days at the Internet-filtering company -- it was my job to search for the porn. Yep, paid to look for porn. That's a double-edged sword, lemme tell ya.
Thanks!
BJ
Hor? I couldnt help but notice, and no one has commented on it yet, but you havent met your sister? Thats just too damn bad, some woman out there is really missing out on having a GREAT sister.
Anon - Thank You? I think you were be being serious, but sometimes I can't tell but if you were, than thank you a whole bunch. :)
And nope, she's my half sister about a year younger than me and all I've seen is a picture. She knows about me but I'm not sure where she lives. I wonder a lot if she'd want to meet me but I worry that she'd think I'm lame. Maybe Oprah can hook us up some day. That'd be cool.
was totally being serious. I would use my name here, but I cant figgre this damn thing out!(any suggestions would be appreciated) back to you tho :) what if your sister is like you are? think how much fun you two could get in to!! Yeee Haaaa!! Take it at your own pace tho, after all I am Anon...... and I know nothing of your "real" life. anywho.... Merry Christmas to you and yours, and to all of those who read the Mighty Hor!!
Hey, Hor!
Happy, happy, happy B-day!
Yes, I'm back. Sorry I disappeared, big bad trauma involving my kid, I've been distracted for a while. I'll be seeing him again in 1 to 5 years. No, seriously, probably next July. Dumbass kid.
Aaaannnnyyyway, on behalf of your faithful readers, I would like to request that when the new digi camera arrives, you post a picture of yourself from the neck down wearing your gifties.
Dear God. The boys search? SHOOOOO indeed.
Hahaha, you jealous girl! Happy because other people's lovers are looking for porn! Tsk tsk tsk!
Hey, you didn't thank me! I helped Sassy pick out the card! I even rubbed my genitals on it before we sent it!
HOR!! I'm so glad you like it, and I too thought the neckline was fabulous! I bought me a black one. I picked gray so that you could layer (I have a phenomenal memory, in case you didn't already know), and I just knew it would fit! I'm so glad you will be able to enjoy them. Just be careful and follow washing instructions because it's a cashmere blend. Oh, and I'm an excellent shopper too.
I hope you had a wonderful birthday! XOXOXO
And those searches: some messed up shit, sister!
And Dyck DID NOT pick out ANYTHING, the lying bastard!! LOL
I can't speak to him rubbing his genitals on something, but rest assured it wasn't your stuff.
(But I still love him)
ANO - That would be really cool right? You're so nice btw, thank you :) As for your username I think there is suppoed to be a nickname box that you can type a name in. I think, but I'm not for sure because I've had a blogger acount for so long I don't remember what it's like. You can always sign up for blogger, that way you'll for sure have a name, (and they've NEVER sent me any crap to my e-mail just so you know) Good luck :)
Upstate, oh my I'm so sorry. I've been a lazy sob and I'm not sure when I've been to your blog last either, so I didn't know. If you need any tips on having a loved one in jail I could probably help you out.
Belle - I know, for shaaammmeee!
Dyck - No you didn't, I didn't smell rotten cheeze, stale cigs or boones farm. So there.
Sassy !!! Cashmere blend? Really? Oh I've never had anything like that before. So that's why it's so soft? Oo neato! And yes you ARE an excellent shopper :) Thank You so MUCH! :)
And yes, nasty indeed.
And as for DYCK, lol he would have sent me nekkid pictures of his ball sack so I sorta knew.
AND it is strange that we still love him isn't it? He can do no wrong, maybe he hypnotized us with his writing.
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