7 random things about myself. Fuck. Fine. I'll teach you to mess with me.
1. Last night I read some erotica with the plot taking place in a creative writing class.
2. I haven't been able to take advantage of my mexican in DAYS because of his two jobs.
3. Later on I decided to take care of business with my magic bullet. (adjustable speed, it's the shit fo sho)
4. I was thinking about what I read earlier. In the "book," the writing class was a class on writing erotica. It said that in erotica you have to be really specific when you describe what the characters are physically feeling.
5. I'm a multitasker and thought I would give it a whirl and try think up what mr. magic feels like.
6. But all I could come up with is that it SOUNDS like a buzzing bee. And then all I could think about was that mr. magic feels like what a giant buzzing bee would feel like all up on my shit. (and it creeped me out a little bit ) And then I remembered that back in the day Cleopatra used a wooden box full of bees as like one of the first vibrators. (wouldn't that suck if they DIED! (and before you were finished?))
7. And then I figured out why a Queen bee in real life lays so many freaken eggs and has like a million babies. Cuz everybody who does it with her is a LIVING vibrator.
Ok so I guess that's just ONE random stream of thought but whatever it's my blog. And now you all have a lleeeetle bit better idea of how my brain works.
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22 comments:
Ah HAHAHAHAHA! LOVE IT! Only a Hor could come up with an entire list of things about herself all related to vibrators/bees! All Hail the Hor!
Do bees actually "do it"?
Is the birds and the bees story actually about vibrators?
My life seems so confusing now....
Oh good lord!! I almost forgot how funny/crazy/uninhibited a person you are.
Oh this reminds me of when we were in HS and you, danny and i where in the same creative writing class and the two of you decided to write some erotica! ah good times, hahahahaha!
I believe you should design a vibe called the "Honey Bee" that would be fan-fucking-tastic!
oh make sure it's water proof and an electric.
Ha. No tag backs.
hey my sweet little hor, i wrote a new blog, check it out and let me know whatacha think
peace out
Sgt you're so silly and yeah maybe you should stop telling your kids about what birds and bees do it might screw em up. Stick to the basics like cabbage patches and milk men.
Alan once again you really are a beotch. And did you read the title? Yeah that's Dirty hor to you. Lucky you're funny.
And thankgod I don't know you in real life cuz I've got a pretty good idea that you're one of those assmasters that'll take my arm off and scream "SLUGBUG!!" I NEVER see those things first. AHH I kind of suck like that.
Lindystar said: And thankgod I don't know you in real life cuz I've got a pretty good idea that you're one of those assmasters that'll take my arm off and scream "SLUGBUG!!" I NEVER see those things first. AHH I kind of suck like that.
What?!?!!?
No, what would be worse than the bees dying would be if they got OUT! Yowza.
Sgt- maybe it's a regional thing?? When people drive around in a car together you can play this game where you look for volkswagon bug. The first person who SEE'S a volkswagon get's to hit the other person in the arm and say "slugbug." Get it? Slug (hit)Bug (nickname for a v.w.)
I never pay any attention and always get hit.
Cruiser - indeed. Shit. It would be even worse than when my batteries die.
You bitch.
How am I supposed to top this post? For some reason it's "cute" and "artsy" when women talk about masturbation, for men it's sexual harassment.
I refuse to stoop down to your level. My blog will remain the sexually-inhibited, classy repository of useful and interesting journalism. I'll refer the people looking for soft core erotica over to you.
Lol j/k. Damn you I'm so jealous you can write about this!
Lindy-Umm...I'm speechless...almost. First off, the idea of bees getting out down there literally SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME. Remind me to thank Cruiser for that lil gem of a thought.
Second, erotica? Seriously?
Lastly, I prefer my standard jackrabbit. It has pearls in it, so I feel like it's a real lady's vibe. All it needs are a pair of cute pumps and a really sophisticated hat.
Oh...and I hate that slug bug shit! I think I still have a bruise because my stupid older brother took evil glee in that effin game!
And another thing...what's up with all the vibrator talk on all the blogs lately? Are people that busy or just lonely?
I totally forgot about that game. I, too, tend to get hit often, but with 'punchbuggy' justifications.
BTW, I got like 6 visits from here :D.
tarrr81
Listen here alter boy Travis you wrote a post about having first time eye sex and getting your cherry popped like two posts ago so I'm not sure how you're going all puritan on me.
Classy repository my ass. You're just as funny and dirty as me and I love you for it.
But thanks for the comment, it made me giggle uncontrollably in front of like 3 co-workers and a customer. Thanks for that.
Sassy- there's been a lot of talk about vibes lately??? What blogs when where???? I've been missing out. OMFG you have a jackrabbit??!! Is that the same as the original rabbit????? I'm actually making a pilgrmage to the "toy store" sometime next week to purchase a rabbit and some other stuff that I'm running low on. So is it diff. or better???
And Erotica? Why yes darling sometimes I don't feel like reading an ENTIRE book just to get to the good parts so I go to "literotica.com." Good site, go for the "favorites." I'm not into pics or videos but I like a nice story thats not terribly corny and can get to the point without taking f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
By bad Alan, I guess you don't have to be an asshat but you're still a Dirty hor.
Travis and DDDUUUHHHH you're gay doesn't that make you exempt as long as you're talking to chicks?? Feel free to just bust out here on my site if you still don't feel comfy on your site.
But damnit it IS YOUR blog, fuck-em if they don't want to read it they don't have to.
And besides I have like 400 questions about that sort of sex and I need a place to ask.
Oh my God I'm laughing so hard I forgot how the fuck I even got here!
Lindy-Check out www.mypleasure.com
You'll see the rabbit there...
Sassy, this is one of the reasons why you are so cool.
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