I'm a bit writers blocky right now so here's a tidbit that happened to me at work that sort of affirms the whole I-am-a-super-dork-clutz thing. When all else fails I guess I can write about being stupid.
While at work Saturday I was being a smidge (fuckinglot) lazy and instead of getting up OUT of my little chair with wheels (to get a stapler farther down on my counter) I decided to lean for it. I leaned as far as my short ass arm would go, got my body into the lean and WHA? WHAM!! Crash bang boom. I guess you can only lean so far in Mr. Chair with wheels cuz it has a balance point or something. Anyways the bitch went over so fast I had no time to apply my natural grace and agility. Why yes grace, I obtain I believe 20 % of what the average person has so, well.. guess it wouldn't have helped anyways.
Fucking clutz ass gene pool. BTW if you're a compete fucking Clum try and not breed with another of your kind cuz it sux to be the offspring. K?
Anyways I ended up tipping over, knocking over my garbage and taking my big ass desk phone down with me in one lovely skerblam. AND managed to instantly abrade and bruise the shit out of my arm. Currently I posses a 5 inch dia. circle of purple loveliness for all to see. Yeah and I have a picture of a mexican on my desk so all of our customers assume he beats me and I get pity looks when they inquire what happened and I say "I fell out of my chair."
Really? How lame DOES that sound?
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Krissie gave this to me because she's an incredible smart-ass with a great sense of humor. (and likes to laugh at me for being stoopid) ;) I can't spell for shit!
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Krissie gave this to me because she's an incredible smart-ass with a great sense of humor. (and likes to laugh at me for being stoopid) ;) I can't spell for shit!
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19 comments:
Story to follow?
My bad I hit enter after writing in my title and the damn thing wouldn't let me take it back while I was "editing" - which was writing my freakin shit you bastard google!!
So yeah, but hey at least this goes with the theme.
Kudos for working injuries, humor, the word 'dipshit', domestic abuse, and Mexicans into a ~400 word post.
Gracias Alan. Grass-ee-ass.
AHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!
But then again, I once fell out of a phone booth. Yes, on the street.
Just tell them he beats you. Most likely they are less inclined to bother you that way.
I had an issue like this at home. I had a beer sitting on my desk which I somehow knocked over and it was spilling towards my lap so I tried to quickly "scoot" my chair back. Instead, it slid off the plastic mat and stopped dead on the carpet dumping me backwards. The chair hit the desk and made the bottle fall, hit the edge of the chair and land on my lap anyway.
Not sure what hurt worse that night. My head from the fall, my groin from the bottle, or my pride.
Sgt. I'm betting groin. And the first comment? Oh how sad it's prob. true.
Now that was a classic klutzo story...I have many myself. SO people really think Chino beats you because he's Mexican? Seriously? And you're in Michigan? WTF?
From now on, I would cower and flinch whenever anyone raises their hand above their waist. It'll be a scream!
Oh my, Lindy, how DO you do it? Somehow I laugh a little louder every new posting.
In Michigan we've got a large population of latin imigrants so I think it makes for even more stereotyping than in less populated areas. Like you know, other places with chinese people.
Cover and flinch, AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Cruiser - I think I'm channeling Goofy when I say "Heehulk Goaarsh" *blush* Add in a little foot shuffle with head down and maybe this will all hide the fact that in real life I'm jumping up and down and doing the 90's "YES!" complete with fist move.
I'd threaten workers comp...maybe then you'll get a new chair that has a better balance point! :)
They let me pick out my own chair at the office store. I got it cuz it's pretty and comfy but it didn't have BASTARD on the price tag.
LOL! Never a dull moment with you around! If I am ever having a bad day, all I need to do is pop over here for a laugh!!
Thanks Jenny I appreciate it.
You are telling me, a gal from TX, about all the "Latin Immigrants" you have in Michigan? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
hilarious
why the Mexican guy?
and i love that you said "dia." for diameter, you are so metro....
i'm covered in bruises myself from last weekend at the bar. Im still so enbarressed.
Use a different account enberessing. like i try to move on but i see them and i cant
Sassy, AHAHAHAHAHHA ok I'm with you on that one. But half of 3/4 of ours are seasonal so maybe that adds to their mistique.
Femme- dia.= metro? A chick can be metro? I thought I was just really lazy but I like the sound of this metro.
Why the Mexican guy? It's this whole he's delusional and thinks I'm a princess thing. I sort of can't give it up. I'm a junkie.
I totally sympathise. I rode away with the disk lock on the front wheel of my bike last week, right in front of the mechanic. Fell gracelessly over into the street with the engine still running. And it's too heavy for me to lift so I hadda ask for help. Big bruises all over me and I feel like a total, complete loser.
OMG Sparx I'm dying for you.
Ha Ha when I was a kid my mom had one of those bycicles with the baby seat attatchment that rode on like a rack behind her.
I'm thinking maaaaayyyybe you should avoid one of those for the moto and spud. Ya know, like just cuz.
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