Ditto

That was the name of my pet cockatiel when I was a kid. Early 90's?? Anyways, just the name "Ditto" ia a sign of those times right?

When we first got him I was of an age before boycraze and therefore he received a lot of my attention. Later on when boys became my #1 focus I lost interest and he went insane, but I'll save that for later.

He was the coolest. He would say his name of course, but also he would pick up on the things most repeated in our household. Like, "Where'd Dad go?," and my favorite "Not!" Remember when everybody ran around saying shit and then saying "not!" afterwards and it was like so funny? (ok if you were 12)

Oh man the greatest was when my Dad taught him the "wolf whistle." You know the one that guys whistle to chicks if they think they're hot and the chicks give the guys a dirty look? (or the one I do in public when there's a lot of chicks and a couple dudes and I do it just to fuck with them all?)

AN-Y-WAYS My mom walked past his cage one day and he did the hey you're sexy whistle and immediately followed it with "Not!" It was awesome and after that he ALWAYS did it that way. Little bastard, it still makes me laugh.

When we spent a LOT of time together I think he thought I was his girlfriend. *Disclaimer* I was young enough not to know what he was doing but old enough to have an idea that this was wrong. -Sometimes when he would sit on my hand he would grind his little butt into my hand and wave his tail back and forth. I thought he was just being silly but after a few times and noticing that he left some liquid on my hand when he was finished I had to go and ask my mom
"Mom, do boy birds come in heat like a girl dog?" My mom asked why and I never told her. It kind of dawned on me -sort of- and after that I tried to not let him do it anymore. But if I tried to stop him he would BITE me! And squawk at me and just keep on going.

Moving on. Ahem. We taught him how to whistle the "Oh my darling" song. He did great with it for like a year and then one day just up and got tired of it. He would do the first bar and then just start of improvising. My Dad would go over to him and start doing it the right way and the bird would fuckin blitz. I believe he thought he was an artist and GOD Dammit he was making his own version. Bless my Dad he would just keep correcting him and the bird would get pissed as hell every time.

After a few years I DID go boycrazy and my Dad kind of took over giving Ditto attention. When I WOULD try and see him he would flip out. All I had to do was walk in the room and he would start screaming and flapping and would bite me if I tried to get him.

At the time I deemed him schizophrenic but now I think maybe he was just a monogamous bisexual kind of guy. Or maybe he was like a really scorned lover and hated my guts for dumping him, I'll just never know.