My BunnyMy Buddy
My Rabbit
My Habbit
I killed my friend. Well I guess I maimed 'im but he's useless to me now. My poor poor bunny foo foo. I would have used a real picture if I had one of when he was alive but I don't. And stuff always looks creepy after it passes away so stock image it is, I'm sorry.
I finlay got to use Mr. Hoppy and half way through he just couldn't take it. He gave up.
Maybe it's bad karma or maybe he could SENSE the turmoil that he's been causing in my life. Perhaps he sacrificed himself for the good of my relationship with C.
OH bunny buzz bunny buzz.
He could spin and twist and shake.
Perhaps he had palsy?
Oh for heavens sake.
Oh for heavens sake for shitin sure! What the gall damn fuck wiggly wabbit? I only had that son of a recycled virused mac for a few months! BASTARD. Dirty bitch I only got to use it a handful of times, what the freakin shit. He can still spin and twist but has lost all power to vibrate. VIBRATING is his biggest asset. Vibrating his little bunny ears is what really makes his magic work!
Ok ok so I might have got a bit overzealous, I might have tried to push his ears closer than they were intend to go but dang it he's got like a half mile of wires in there shouldn't they have left at least a LITTLE slack if I needed it? But no. No no n-n-n. n. No.
And do you people KNOW! Do you REMEMBER how gall forsaken CHEAP I AM??? SSSHHHHIIIIIIIITT I spent like $70 on this bastard. AAAAhhh I need a new swear word, these are just not covering it. CUNT. There! That is one of the 3 words on my "list of words that I shall not use." But I am so pissed that I've been reduced to bringing it out. Cunt fucking bastards - 70 dollars?? Ahhhhhhhhh God the only reason I EV-ER dropped that kind of cash on a SINGLE toy is because I've heard for years that it's the best thing under the sun. Damn it all to shit this thing lasted about as long as a pair of walmart shoes! You BASTARDS! For that much cash you could at least make sure the shit fire wiring is good.
Oh. Oh I am just seeeething.
And my poor conejo. (ko-nay-ho) My poor funny bunny now lies in state, in his padded lock box. I'm going to check in on him from time to time like I did my digi camera when I broke that. I'll check in from time to time and see if he's magically self regenerated.
Bare Bunny
Fair Bunny
I'll mourn ye
I'll miss ye.
28 comments:
I am sorry for your loss. R.I.P.
Hey, Krissie, I haven't seen you in Dyck's hole recently...
Miss Hor, you'll have to excuse my ignorance but I am somewhat unfamiliar with the er... device in question. Surely using a Rabbit isn't rocket science. Or is it? You should have given yours a little more tender lovin' care while it was still in the land of the living. Apparently, the ole Rabbit shaft rotates at 3 different speeds. Well, so can mine! Think about it....
Holy crapmuffins, I was considering buying one and now I'm afraid to do it. I haven't ever spent that much on a toy, either, and if I shell out $70 it better last a long freakin' time.
My condolences to your rabbit-killing ladyflower. :(
I heard about those smoooooooth glass ones. Now THAT is something I'd like to try... you can set in a bowl of hot water to warm it, or in a bowl of cold water to chill it. No fancy schmancy batteries or vibrations.. just smooooooth glass made with the same glass they use for pyrex baking dishes... I hear they're expensive though because they're made one at a time by hand. I saw it once on HBO 'Real Sex'. I LOVED that show!
Oh, and I'm sorry about your bunny.. ( Annnd now that freakin' song is stuck in my head AGAIN!!)
Thank You Krissie, what a lovely tribute.
Stan!! - Yeah stan but can you vibrate? Ha ha or at least vibrate without making me laugh my ass of at you? And no it's not hard to use at all, quite the opposite it does ALL the work! Perhaps I should have been nicer, but damn I gave it fresh batteries! Factory Defect!
Ellen - Hi! Nice to have you here :) and yeah I'm on the boat with you, what if I got another one and killed that too? Or maybe it was just a freak accident. Uck and it's not like THIS is something you can get used for cheap off of e-bay. Geeeww.
Jenny - I've heard all the rave about those too but I'm afraid it would be too smooth and slippery and I wouldn't have any texture to make it feel-a-ble.
AHh I loved that show TOO!!
And thank you.
And NOT thank you for the damn song.
and it's not like THIS is something you can get used for cheap off of e-bay.
Technically, you could.
R.I.P. little bunny. I'm with Ellen - you must have one hell of a ladyflower that she was able to singlehandedly (singlepussedly?) kill such a contraption! Chino is one lucky Mexican.
(My darling husband walked in the room while I was reading this - first he wanted to know what the hell I was reading (HOR caught his attention), and then he wanted to know what the HELL that was a picture of?! All playfully, of course. The rabbit scared the shit out of him. He is a bit wary about letting anything that could outperform him near the bedroom. I guess it's a good thing I have long fingers and a detachable shower head.)
On your previous post - alone time is definitely harder to come-by when you share the same house . . . encourage a night or two out with the boys, a sports league, or classes at the local community college - pre-kids, husband learned how to hang drywall, and I had a few hours a week to myself. I'm now in Jenny's shoes - if I get time alone, getting all hot and sweaty isn't usually tops on the list.
Oh Krissie but I can't. But yeah I'll bet it's possible. OH well awesome we're having a slow day here so off I go to look at the WRONG things people sell on e-bay now.
Driving - Oh lord it's quiet in the office today I KNOW my boss could here me laughing litteraly out loud at your comment. Ah well.
Hey! I'm glad to know C. isn't the only one who feels intimidated out there!
(singlep-wordedness ahahahahahahhahahhhaha that's hilarious)
Yeeeeessssssss more time with the boys. . . hmmmmmmmm yeeesssss..
Oh no! I'm so sorry this happened! I get your frustration, believe me. Can't believe the bunny let you down like that. Must be a defect. My Friend Rabbit has been around for years, since my first boyfriend after my divorce.
And it looks like "out-performance" issues abound! Must be fairly universal. Poor fellas. It's just a widdle wabbit! That vibrates...and spins...and doesn't (usually) get tired...and is always ready....
I thought they had a lifetime warranty? Call up the company and send it back.
Maybe they will start sending you new models to test out for durability.
Yeah I agree with sgt. send the mutha back and don't clean it up either...lol
Or try to sell it on eBay.
Maybe if you leave it lying around, someone will steal it, like they did with the broken camera?????
Eeeewwwww.
RIP little bunny-foo-foo.
Blogget - good to know for future purchasing. And thank You. So you've had experience with guys being afwaid of da wittle wabbit too? Silly boys.
Sgt. I didn't save the receipt. Shame shame.
Krissie - You love to run with a theme, I can respect that. And NO gawd what if my family recognized me selling it?
Cruiser - Actually when we were robbed they had to move aside C's guy-toy in his undie drawer to reach the cash. AHAHAHHA bastards left it.
Patti - Eeewwwww maybe I could dip it in mayo and cottage cheese first. Oh god please don't let anyone be reading this while eating.
My condolences on the loss of your pubic hare. (Get it? Rabbit? Hare??)
i bet it's the smell that killed it.
I swear!! Sometimes the comments are SO much fun to read!! LOL!!
Really, Lindygirl, you broke your Rabbit already? Seek comfort (and ease up on the pocketbook) at www.mypleasure.com There you can find a replacement Rabbit for half the cost and more durable. Seriously. I've had mine 2 years, bought it from there, and it's still good to go. Don't go with the fancy high-tech ones. They always break first. Get the classic Rabbit. K? K!
Dyck - You always manage to "rise to the occasion" with a good quip.
Jeremy - Well really only if bunny foo foo was extremley sensitive about his manhood. He smells like freakin rubber (manly indeed) and when he came out all flower-ee and vannila-ee it COULD have sent him over the edge making him commit suicide. Good theory Jeremy.
Jenny- I KNOW! Sometimes the best shit comes out in here and I wish I could post it.
Sassy - *shuffles feet, kicks at dirt* Thaaaannnxx Saaassyy guuuuffffaaaaaaaawwwww
Oh yes, I've experienced the man-fear of the wittle wabbit (pubic hare -- that was too funny, Mr. Mighty). If I had a battery for every time I've heard, "No...can't you use the little one?"....well, Friend Rabbit would never run out of power. ;o)
It's sad, there should be an AA kind of club for it.
LOL WPA - Wabbit Phobics Anonymous
Can you imagine the meetings? And the logo?!
For $70 you better take that bunny back out of the box and return that fucker. I hope you bought it online so you don't have to walk into a "toy" store and make a scene about your faulty vibrator and demand a replacement. he he.
Well, maybe this is a little nudge in the right direction....
I mean, who goes back to complain when our toys don't work. We go back with iPods, toasters etc
I think we should have a consumer spokeswoman for sextoys! They are expensive and have you ever seen a warranty slip....
Push the sextoy industry up against the wall!! They are making a bundle since we do not want to come in with our exhausted sex toys and complain!
Blogget - hahah a blacked out bunny with a red slash through it. heeeeeehaaawwwwwww
Katm - Yeah, toy store and no receipt. I'm too scared that they'll send me packin with my broke bunny and broken ego.
Lady - My goodness I'll bet you really are right. I thought for a sec and I've had no less than 3 toys that turned out lame on me. One because it was WAY false advertisement and two because they died before their time. This has to STOP!! But for REAL!! They really DO make a killin on our misfortue. BASTARDS.
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