Sorry but it seems that even though you might make a lot of money - you're still stooopid. Bummer. Really.This morning on my way back from running some errands for work my boss called and asked if I would pick up a bunch of McDonald's stuff for breakfast for everyone at work. I. Am. Glamorous! :)
Anyways, when I was about to enter the McD's a tall salt n pepper I'm-so-businessman like-and-important-and-stiff-mygod-just-look-at-my-perfectly-jelled-hair guy came up and started speaking to me. I didn't immediately run or yell NO HABLO INGLES! (yeah that one throws people off) because he was obviously captain business America and I didn't THINK he was going to ask me for money. Ok plus it was 7a.m. and my brain wasn't moving at it's normal ghetto safety speed yet.
Mr. Business pointed across the street to a sit-down restaurant and asked me if it is the best place around for breakfast. I told him I'd never been there but for SURE to not go to the I-Hop here because it is disgusting. As I walked into McD's he followed me in and felt the need to explain that - "I'm not here for the food, I don't eat in places like this, I'm just here for the premium coffee."
Uh. EeewMKay well that's nice. And INSULTING and condescending and assholeish. I mean REALLY douchebag? You're going to mention how terrible and revolting and BELOW you the clown food is to someone that is OBVIOUSLY going to be eating it in like 40 seconds? (actually I kind of hate McD's breakfast - why can't they be cool like Burger king and sell their lunch foods 24/7? I WOULD eat a hamburger and fries for breakfast - and no I don't need any preaching about how bad that would be for me- but the POINT is that he didn't KNOW that I hate it) 
Honest to God I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic about the "Premium" coffee or if he was being for real. When he went up to order he DID ask for "a large premium coffee." Dork. I'd rather drink the pretend cappuccino from a gas station.
He looked at me a bit goofy when I ordered enough food for 10 people. Ahahaha so I told him that I was there picking up for work. Ok so I'M the dummy there because that opened up the window for him to start small talk. Yuck I didn't want to talk to some asshole stranger about my job - it's too hard to explain to NORMAL people let alone a dildo. Ah well lesson learned.
Lesson Learned: Just because it's well dressed and drives - doesn't mean that I should let down my ghetto guard. NO HABLO INGLES!!
12 comments:
That guy was flirting with your hor ass. Why didn't you take him into the bathroom and give him a Happy Meal??
He was flirting? Huh.
Mmmmm I love giving a happy meal in the morning. He wouldn't even have to ask for extra sauce.
It is my belief that you can make innuendo out of anything. Try the words 'alligator tabasco elevator accordian'.
Yeah. Those was some lousy openers.
Seriously.. who asks where the "best" place to get breakfast is? Clearly you ask about lunch in that situation.
you can't sit down at mcdonald's?
Hi,
Thanks for your recent comment on my blog, haven't posted for a while because of holiday but will start again very soon.
I really like your style, fresh and direct.
He could have been your Sugar Daddy, and yet you just walked away? Tsk tsk! ;o)
he wanted your fillet of fish baby. dyckerson is right.
Alan - Come give me some of that alligator and make it HOT like tabasco baby, oh yeah raise it up like an elevator come on baby work me like an accordian.
Easy Peasy.
Sgt - PSsshaw like, I KNOW!
Jeremy - Nope this is MI we only sit down in fancy places. Like Steak N Shake.
Step- Hi thanx for stopping in. And thank you MORE for the compliments! :)
Sassy - I'm losing my ho-mojo, it's sad. Next thing you know I'll be talkig about knitting and martha stewart. If I get there shoot me ok?
Kitty - Eeeek! No fish fillet!! If he wanted anything from me he'd have to order off of the exotic sweet lotus menu.
They come in all sorts of packages don't they?
Hey, I like your little flag thingy. I like to be blinky.
I'm not sure I am deserving of premium coffee . . . can you order a cup of crap?
Cruiser - Yes, asspackages.
OOooo!! It's cool right? I have BLING! I had no idea people from so many diff. places stumble in here. Maybe that explains all of the google searches for "what is a hor?"
Driving - Premium my ass and NO I DON'T want you freaks to add the cream and sugar for me. That freaks me out because I need to SEE the sugar packets to gauge how many I need to put in and maybe I don't feel comfy asking for 8 sugars and 5 creamers. Assholes.
Post a Comment