Sometimes I think about a couple of really REALLY like the oh-my-gawwwwd-really awesome sex sessions that I've had in the past, you know, like, when I'm getting it on with my man, or alone. But those sex encounters weren't with him. I love my man like bonkers and he does a great job in the sex department, but. . . But there were a couple of times in the past, actually a couple of penises in the past, that were just - amazing. I didn't have LOVE with those penises so it wasn't the same and my mans penis can be great but . . .Aw shit I'll just come out with it. One of the penises was LARGE and it was just really awesome. The other super-penis was quite small but it had this really great angle to it so that during chair sex or girl-on-top, my god it would hit my special spots like nothing I could have imagined, it was so freaking INTENSE.
This fantasizing has been happening more frequently over the past couple of months or so and it's started to kind of bother me. We've been having sex for almost a year and a half and all of a sudden this stuff just POPS up. I understand that after time has gone by in a committed relationship that things can get stale or same-ole-same-ole, but I worry that it shouldn't have happened so soon. Most of the time I'm fine and dandy but sometimes I really am BORED with it and the use of making up fantasies or re-thinking past encounters has really come in handy.
But it's only been a year and a half! What happens when I get bored with thoughts of my past encounters and what if I run out of fantasies??? (is the last one possible though? not sure) What if this stuff only works for another six months and then I get bored with THAT? What the hell will I do for the next 30 YEARS? 
I want my most amazing sex encounter to be with MY MAN, the man that I love and will be with forever. Maybe we should go on a position tour and try every single one but with slight differences until I find one that hits the spot like that angled-penis of my past. That could be good right? And it would certainly burn some time I guess. LOL I hope the magical position isn't something like reverse-cowgirl in the bathtub on tuesdays with with one leg behind my head and a hand on his face. Or you know, something inconvenient like that. That'd suck
17 comments:
HOR, you know I'm married 22 yrs, and all I can tell you is what has worked for me. When I'm on autopilot, I allow myself to fantasize about whatever and whomever I please. When I'm with my Big Guy, I focus totally on him.
The guy I referred to previously gave me some outrageously delicious experiences. The ones I've had with the Big Guy have been different, but no less pleasurable and intense, so I find it easy to balance things in my head. One of the best things in my opinion is that after so long together, we have our own verbal shorthand. There are times we can be in a very public situation and with one or two well-chosen words, I can express to him (or he to me) that I'm thinking of a particular sexual experience we've had together (some as much as 20 years ago), and nobody within earshot has any clue what's on our minds.
I must admit, I'm very lucky. My guy is generally - not always - extremely generous in bed. When I feel the need and he doesn't, he takes good care of me. I've been saying for years that as long as he had a right hand, I'm a happy wife. Ironic, because he's left-handed at everything else.
With time comes a different kind of intimacy, way beyond the physical, even beyond emotional. Call it spiritual, I suppose. I shock my man with how often I know exactly what he's thinking or feeling, especially those emotions we all have that we don't like to admit like grudges and resentment. It takes some courage to trust someone that completely. It was actually kind of scary at first to let someone get that close. It was tempting to push each other away. But it has been SOOOOOO worth it.
Well, I can't so much help you with this one cause seriously, about 90% of my "oh my god" experiences have been with my husband.
I have found that after the 7 years that we have been together, what I miss the most is that whole new relationship feeling more than anything. You know the, "I am so hot for you, can't wait to get you in my pants feeling." That's been gone for a long time with me. But it has been replaced with a certain amount of intimacy that I would not trade.
However, this does not stop me from fantisizing. Not much about the past, but more about the Oh my gawd, he's is so hot mechanic. Or that tall guy with the really big feet and cute ass that picks his kid up at the same time as I pick my kids up. Convenient timing, right?
I've been with Hubby for 11 years (married 10 this May) and while the sex is not as frequent (I've got 3 kids and I'm pregnant--I'm tirrrred!) When we DO have sex, it is 90 percent WOW! The other 10 is when I don't really want it but I want him to stop playing with my boobs so I fuck him and then roll over to go to sleep- ahhh! Peace! (this is where knowing what will get him off in 30 seconds or less comes in handy!)
I had a couple of mind-blowing sex experiences with other guys before Hubby, but since being with him, he totally blows them out of the water. He knows just what to do to make me come, he knows what I like and as upstate broad said, there comes an intimacy from being with someone so long that you just don't get with someone you just met.
I really can't say anything else. I don't really fantasize when I have my dream man standing in front of me. To each his own...
Upstate - Aww way to get a hor all teared up :) I love how sweet you are about your man :)
SO, when you're on autopilot (I asume that's when your alone??) you go to fantasy land. And with him, focus. Maybe I need to focus more, maybe I've forgoten what it's like to pay attention.
You're right when you say it's hard to trust someone completely. I trust C. with LOTS of things, hell most everything, but when it comes to my body I'm still a little shy. Its because I need to exercise more and I worry that he won't like what he sees ( i know, stupid but I can't help it) So I hope that sort of thing WILL come with time like you say. :) I look forward to it. Thank You for your advice and stuff, I apreciate it :)
Nicole - :) there ARE always new strangers to fantasize about right? Cool, at least I know I won't run out of that. :) I get what you mean about the new-relationship thing but I'm cool with what we've got. We're so dang happy that we had a really long and smooth transition from new to love. Thanx for sharing :)
Jenny - I think he and I still have some learning to do about each other. He's good but there is some stuff that I need to speak up and fill him in on if he's gonna get to that level of "knowing just what to do." I think this has been an eye opener! Who knew the hor would need to communicate. Thanx Jenny :)
"What if this stuff only works for another six months and then I get bored with THAT?"
Well, sadly, if you're anything like my wife, you'll leave. Hopefully you can always find a reason why your man is worth being loved even if you can't label him as the best lay you've ever had. And hopefully he does the same for you!
Effort - I'm sorry that happened to you. I would never leave C. though, I'm terribly happy with him. Ya know, I didn't expect a comment like that but I think it really put me in a better frame of mind. Thank You. I love him so very much I could stand to not obsess about the sex so much. Although it IS what my blog is about a lot of time so we'll see :)
Yeah, HOR, autopilot is when I'm solo.
Oh Hor, I wasn't trying to bring anyone down. I totally know that's what your blog's about; that's one reason I come here to visit. I merely attempt to toss a little whatever into the fire if it'll prevent ANYone from having to endure what I've faced with my spouse this year. It really, truly sucks when you look into the eyes of someone you'd walk through hell for and see her desire for another man there.
HOR!! I got your super-penis right here!
Hor-I think this post was so earnest in its intent. Fantasy is a perfectly normal part of adult sexual beings, regardless of the intensity of our feelings for our partner.
You're a funny girl, and I mean that in the best way possible. XOXO
First, Hor-gal, I don't think you're in danger of running out of fantasies! I can't imagine you doing that!
And you might be right...start making those fantasies with your man. I'm sure you won't need them ALL the time, but some spice now and again makes it interesting. Maybe even one of those "52 weeks of fantasies" kits. (I have one of those put aside, in case I'm ever with someone for 52 consecutive weeks....)
:o) BJ
Effort, ok, but I really am sorry for what's happened to you, that sounds just terrible. I'm not good with feel better sentiments and that whole "time heals" just sounds so bullshitty and fake anyways, so I'll just say that the hor is always here to talk, and I'm giving you a big ole *HUG*
Sassy - I was thinking by the comments that maybe I finaly DID go TMI but damnit no. This is my blog and I'm going to be honest and apreciate the honesty that others give me back. So thanks, you were quite right about it being earnest :)
BJ - :) You crack me up, :) you'll get there, lord knows you have more suiters than I can count on one hand! ;) LOL we just got some "Fun Dice" and had a blast playing with them.
Thanks HOR. OMG, normally I'm shelling over $200 when I use those words. ahahahahahaha! Anyway, thanks. Very much. Also, I totally agree with Sssassaaay! in that fantasy is a perfectly normal part of the human condition. I don't even so much care if now and then my mate is fantasizing about another person when we're making love, as long as she's not doing it EVERY time and moaning his (or her) name, too. I just draw the line when a fantasy turns from "oooo, this turns me on" to "maaaan, why isn't my mate this way?" One makes you hotter for your partner; the other makes you disappointed and ultimately that leads you where I am. And believe me, don't come here! The food sucks and there's no good programs on TV. ;-)
Effort - ahahahahaha you crack me up with the $200 joke, it took me a minute cuz I'm slow but now I'm lauging :)
OMG I would NEVER say another dudes name or even let him know I'm thinking other thoughts, that'd be horrid.
So bad food and bad T.V. Dude did you lose your CABLE in the deal? ACK!! And damn it stay away from the Hot Pockets, no human no matter how heartbroken should eat a Hot Pocket.
But what if I love eating hot pockets? Especially when you're doing it just right and she starts rocking her hips in time with... wait.. are we talking about the same thing here?
Ya know, when you get around to healing sometime in the future and get out there, you're gonna make one helluva catch Effort. :)
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