Left Behind - The Bar Version

Okay! Weekend number TWO of going out with friends to "get my mind off of things." I didn't get groped this time, a nice change of pace, but I DID get left at the bar with no ride. At 2:30 in the morning. No car keys, no house key, no I.D. and no money. Let's get this story started -

I met my pal from work at the cool-kidz bar again and he was already there with a passel of his other gal-pals and some cousins. Nice enough people (to ME) but kind of that crazy-we-will-start-fights-crowd that I'm not really part of. OY.

When I first arrived - looking much more appropriately hoochie-dressed than my last time - I made Frankie (my pal from work) take my keys, money and I.D. My smokin no-pocket hor-jeans and shirt didn't have any place to put my shit, and Frankie's usually a good man-bitch. What I didn't realize was that Frankie and his crew had done some serious "pre-drinking" and were all pretty far gone by the time I got there.

SO! By the time I had finished 2 Long Islands (yummy!) and was dancing with a nice probation officer named Ralph, they were wasted. I headed off to the bathroom for a minute and I guess while I was gone one of Frankie's pals Ex's showed up with current baby mamma and some drunken nastiness ensued. Apparently the people I was with were "escorted" out. (oh. my. gawwdd how embarrassing would that be (if you weren't wasted?))

Long story short - They were wasted, they were fueled with drama, and Frankie forgot about me and the fact that he had EVERYTHING of mine in his pockets - and they left. I came out of the bathroom and tried to figure out where my peeps had gone and luckily after a while some nice guy told me that "those people you were with were escorted out." (omg embarrassing for ME now)

The bar was closing and they were trying to hustle people out so I told one of the security guys my situation. He pretty much ignored me, that sucked. After standing in the doorway like a freak for like 15 minutes some really nice girl came up and asked me if I needed to use a phone. I don't know who she was or how she knew but I'll lover her forever. Have I mentioned I live alone now? And that I moved to my job 35 minutes away from my parents? And an hour from my best friend? And it was 2:30 a.m.?? I called my boss. She and I are cool and if she had been awake she would have been happy to come and get me but alas she was asleep.

You guys I can't tell you how freaked out I was! All alone and with NOTHING. At one point I walked out into the freezing night, took my heels off (oh my GOD my feet hurt from those bitches!) and walked around the street bare-foot yelling for Frankie. At one point I thought about asking the police officer with a guy in a headlock on the ground for a ride home but I remembered I didn't have a house key.

The Ralph guy that I had been dancing with was keeping an eye on me in the bar and asked what had happened. I told him and he went on his way but then came back to keep an eye on me some more. I couldn't figure out if he was a crazy-dude or if he was really being nice (so I went with crazy-dude just in case.)

To my surprise one of Frankie's cousins showed up out of nowhere and I thought I was saved. Unfortunately she was drunk beyond what I know how to deal with and her HUSBAND had forgotten her as well. He thought she was with Frankie. Thank God she had a cell phone though and called her husband to come get her. She knew who I was previously in the evening but at this point she was reduced to telling her husband "Baby some white girl keeps talkin to me about Frank, she says Frank has her stuff." Eventually I talked her into calling Frankie and THANK GAWD they started heading back to get me.

Her husband called her back to tell us to meet him across the street and down a ways in another parking lot. Ralph ended up showing up there in his SUV and when I started talking to him telling him we had a ride coming, the drunk cousin announced that "I WANT IN THIS TRUCK! LET ME IN!" Ralph told her that she could get in the back and wait for our ride but she didn't feel like getting in the back. While I was trying to tell her that Ralph was a stranger and that you shouldn't get into vehicles with strangers, she was busy CLIMBING over his lap and steering wheel to get to the passenger seat. Oh. My. Gawd - again. I guess she forgot that SUV's have more than one door.

Ralph was really calm and we chatted for like 30 seconds until her husband showed up. I think it went something like "Oh my god, I don't really know her, she's so drunk, I'm so sorry, you're a very nice man." And repeat. When her husband showed up he had to get her out of Ralph-the-strangers vehicle and I told Ralph thanx again for watching out for me. He gave me his card - lol - I obviously won't be calling but it was nice. So THANX Ralph! Thanx for making sure nobody abducted me out in the cold with no shoes, and thanks for keeping your hands in very appropriate places when we danced - you're a cool dude.

The cousins husband took me to meet Frankie and I was at last re-united with my stuff and thus the inside of my car and on to my home.

Until all of the crappy stuff happened I really did have a nice time. I did my best I'm-terribly-white-and-uncoordinated dancing and had a good time feeling sexy in my hoe-jeans. One of the nice girls that I was out with tried to teach me this choreographed dance that all the cool kidz were doing but I have trouble telling my left from my right when I'm NOT drunk, so that was kind of a bust, but a fun bust. I've had "Apple Bottom Jeans" stuck in my head for 3 days and I quite enjoy dancing to it. (steal it for me Krissie????:):)

So yeah, all's well that ends well (ends well eventually :P ) I guess.