You are an asshole.
Yeah I'm talking to you. Bitch. OOoooooo "She jus call ju a bitch! What chu goan do bout it?"
I currently use 6 products on you each and every day. Not to mention miscellaneous strips, masks and scrubs. AND I fucking stay out of the sun! OH You asshole do you even KNOW how not cool it is to be pale? It's like having fucking leprosy!
I've got eye gel for wrinkles, a gel and scrub for acne, I've got a daytime with SPF and at nighttime I spot treat for acne, wrinkles and moisturising. I'm well read and know what products I can use together and which to use separate. I exfoliate, but not TOO much.
I drink a god awful ridiculous amount of green tea and water. And not JUST for the fun of seeing my pee be clear and feel smug that my kidneys are happy but for YOU! !
And what do you do in return?? OH for shame I think you know. SSHHAAAAAMME. Yes I did just point my finger at you.
Do you know how CHEAP I am and how much money I've spent on you? Fuck You. Seriously I broke down and even started buying the more expensive products (it's painful for me to not be cheap) so once again, Fuck You.
If it weren't for a concealer I found a few years ago that will cover up a fuckin donkey if you put him on my face I would have went insane long long ago.
I need you to get on the same boat as me. I'm 25. Did you realize that? Were you too busy scheming your next evil plot and accidentally missed a couple of my birthdays? Your not a screen writer, stop it. And don't you dare make me go all catholic on your ass and bring in a priest to bring out the demons and shit.
I've tried positive reinforcement with you but those days are over. Get your SHIT together you lazy skank ass bitch.
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14 comments:
Dude. I feel your pain. I went through the same thing around your age (so...long ago...dammit). I'll tell you what. As soon as I started using two products, magical things took place:
1. Those Oil of Olay facial cleansing cloth things. One side's rough and one side's smooth. I use the rough on my skin and the smooth for my eye makeup. Cut them in half to make them last longer.
2. Mineral makeup. I started using this a few months ago, and it is a miracle. I think it actually might heal my skin I'm not even kidding. I use Bare Escentuals, but there are other kinds. I highly recommend it.
Dear Lindystar's skin, WTF?
REEEAAAALY?? About the Bare E's?? I thought that had scam written all over it.
I don't wear foundation, just concealer in the spots that need it and maybe some powder when people start seeing their reflection in my forhead.
OOoooo I do love how you cut the cleansing cloths in half, how cheap and wonderful of you. Just for that one thing alone I want you to be my friend.
This is real life testimony so I might actually have to break down and buy MORE shit. Do the minerals cover up blemishes without looking pancake?
OMFG I was just talking about Bare Minerals with my friend Kristi last night. I told her the stuff looked so good I felt like calling in my damn self and getting some.
My face got the message that I was too old for constant acne, except it jumped ten years ahead and now my face skin looks 35. Aaak you can't win, right?
"how cheap and wonderful of you" hahaha that's the Lindy I know and love.
Um when ya gonna call me, bitch?
Check your blog comments if you already haven't cuz I left a nice little mes. for ya about calling.
You need to tell me what concealer you are using because every damn tube I use can't cover my super dark horid black circles. I sleep, tried cucumbers, everything. My makeup bag is a bag full over pale colored tubes of lipstick. I hate foundation like you and powder is as far as I go. So help!!!
Don't you just hate that on one little face ya have to use zit medicine and anti-wrinkle stuff? What's up with that?
Actually, testimonial time for just that problem: Neutrogena makes a great line of prods that do both at the same time. I discovered these about 6 months ago and I seriously get the shakes if I think I'm runnin' low on the moisturizer. I rarely get a zit anymore and if I do, it's over really quickly.
Lindy-Get on board with Bare Escentuals "Bare Minerals" line! I use it on my old ass 36-yr old face, and it's
FAN-FUCKIN-TASTIC! And it LASTS, so I don't feel so bad spending the somewhat pricey initial amount.
I ordered online, and you can get a special kit price...AND they will auto send you new shit every three months. No more hiking it to the effin malls for Clinique for me! I too am a skin care fanatic, and I'm doing well since the stupid age guesser can't guess my age. I get 28 A-LOT (which I love and makes me do a happy dance).
Also, when was the last time you went to the doctor and had any blood work done? You could have a hormonal imbalance that your doctor could help you with. My leetle sister started breaking out like an acne fiend at 28, and they figured out it was hormone issues.
Proactiv DOES work. I saw it with my sister. Plus, that mask stuff they give with it: totally awesome!
Remember to stick with a light moisturizer with SPF by day and a more rich one by night in the summer. In winter, just pack on the richer one day and night.
Firecracker - I was refering to zit conceler (nutrogena skin clearing oil free conceler- comes in a little tube oh lord it's the best) BUT! I did accidently buy the wrong stuff the other day it's Revlon Skinlights illusion wand. Spf 12 light touch and that shit will cover just about anything I think. I got my other stuff cuz this isn't skin clearing and it's too dark for me but maybe it'll work on your circles.
Cruiser- I've been eyeing those Nuet. products. I WAS using an oil of olay thing that fights wrinkles AND acne but doesn't have an SPF. WHY can't I have all three??? I NEED all three. I don't think they have one with all three (nobody does) so I'm doing a combo of stuff. But if you say no zits then I might have to give in.
Sassy- Horomones? Hahahahahah I've got a ton of those bitches (PCOS) but the B.Control that I'm supposed
to start taking is SUPPOSED to help with that.
That's it I'm buying the minerals. I love the infomercial I've watched like 10 times wishing that it was real and not a scam. Here we go!
Seriously Bare Minerals. It's amazing. And it covers up blemishes nicely. And circles, too, Firecracker! And it goes on really light and feels light. Plus if you don't like liquid foundation you'll like this because it's powder. I really think my skin is much healthier because of it. It's expensive, but oh well. In my opinion it's totally worth it.
I know there are other brands out there. My friend uses Arbonne and likes it a lot. I've only used Bare Minerals, though, so I can only speak to that one.
To sum up, I will marry Bare Minerals, and you and I will be friends who save money by cutting our cleansing cloths in half.
I'm going to the webiste.
YAY! A new cheap friend!
You are sooo funny! I laughed my ass off reading this. Not because of you but because I could have been the one writing this. I am with you on so many different levels with this one!
Guess what? Yeah, you got tagged again. More work for you! Too bad that I don't know of to many other bloggers...
http://inflammablehamster.blogspot.com/2007/06/ive-been-tagged.html
Oh yeah, ProActiv DOES work. I used it for like 4 years and it was amazing. But perhaps a wee bit drying, so I grabbed that Neutrogena stuff and eventually switched entirely. Well, except for that mask. It truly is miracle stuff.
Anon, thank-you!!! I'm glad to know you laughed AND I'm not alone.
Alan - Again?? You beotch you're lucky I like your blog.
Beotch.
Cruiser - I wonder if I can just get the mask? I freakin love masks, most of the time I don't even know if they're doing SHIT but I think it's fun.
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