I've Learned Something From My Last Post

Wow, holy gosh and gee golly whiz. Either I have THE coolest group of blogger readers (well duhhhhh you know yall are) or ....

1. That Mom and Dad you see when driving by the grocery store or soccer field with four kids, two diaper bags, a stroller, a backpack, and a minivan? Chances are those two are going to gramas house to drop them kids off and then mosey on over to the church to get freaky in the bathroom. (no that's not my family it's just some really cool random family of whoms picture I stole off of the internet) ;)

2. If it's a public place - it's been sexed upon. WASH YOUR HANDS people, I'm for real.

3. You and I were both most likely conceived in an illegal manner.

4. Ew. this means that my parents have got it on all freakey-deek GAWD knows where and one of these days my mom is gonna start opening up even MORE than she already has been (mom I'm for real you've got to stop) and is going to tell me some of the krazy places that she's been gettin it on.

5. I am one Vanilla hor. I'm so lame that if I were a porn I'd be the one on skin-a-max where the girl is sitting on the guys STOMACH almost on his chest and is pretending that his belly button is his wang. Some folks yell at sports, I yell at that chick. "This is GAY! You're no where NEAR his dong! Stop screaming hor! His belly hair can't feel THAT good on your clit!! I HATE this channel!!!"

BTW, COME ON!!! Where are the rest of you?? I know you're not virgins come on don't be shy, it's just me -your sweet neighbor hood hor :) Tell mamma hor and her little friends your dirty seeeeecrets. ;)

Lesson learned, moving on. SPARX over at http://notes-inside-my-head.blogspot.com/ gave me this here award that you may have noticed to your right. The nod alone makes me feel all gushy and warm and *blush* and feet shuffle-ee but she actually wrote a whole diddy about me on her blog and said like way too many nice things about me that made me go into the "He-Hullk-Garsh" mode where (if I were in public) I would feet shuffle and keep trying to put my hair behind my ears over and over even though it's already there because I need something to do with my hee-haw-nervous-happy self. Would you believe I'm quite shy when I first meet people?

I look up to Sparx as one of those "cool" bloggers that has lot's of readers and is a really good writer and is way super funny and and and "CRAP I wish I could be like THAT" - people. You guys get what I mean right? Like one of those people that it makes you more than a little bit giddy to see that they bother to put a comment on YOUR blog? Ok ok whatever I know I'm a super dork, but it's not like I didn't warn you.

When I first found her I went back and read every last post from the beginning, yes she's one of THOSE people. You know you don't do that with everybody, only the special people that you can read like a real book. For heavens sake she refers to her child as a "Spud." And not because it's just some cute leeetle nick name, no it's because he's one of those "plush" baby's and she's freaking funny. She's honest and funny AND a great mom. Actually she's one of those super great moms that you look at and think "Damn I'll never be like that, I'll be lucky if my child SURVIVES let alone gets organic homemade baby food and environmentally friendly nappies." (Ok so maybe some of you have confidence that you could keep a child ALIVE, but I'm just sharing what goes through my head)

Ok so anyways it feels like one of my very own heroes has given me a pat on the back and a wink for a job well done just like you see people do to retarded kids on t.v. when they save the day. I haven't saved the day but damn it I got my pat.