Mostly in the grocery store.
It's so embarrassing! The check out lady must think I'm some sort of crazy person freak of nature(and my GAWD and this is Walmart we're talking about!!) Yesterday I did it at old navy but at least the girl was nice enough to pretend like she didn't hear me. Ugh I even did it in the jewelry store when C. and I picked up our rings. Maybe I got excited by all of the shiny-ness? I don't know but the chick gave me that damn look that says "Ew Kayyyyyy"
I guess I should elaborate. You all need details. Thank You. I pre-ejaculate my thank-yous. Were you thinking sex? Good! Yeah sometimes the sex thing happens to girls to but I'll get to that later.
For real though I'll be in the store and I'm so conscientious about trying to be extra polite and nice that sometimes I get ahead of myself and start saying thank you at inappropriate times. Most usually when I hand my money to the clerk. You're not supposed to say Thank You when you GIVE your money to them! *bangs head on desk* Dummy! Dummy! Dummy! And then I get all befuddled and have to say thank you again when they hand me my change back. AAWWW!!! SSSSSSShit! WWWHYYYYYYYYY?????? Why must I do that? It's like a weekly occurrence and it's SOOO embarrasing. Shit!
Or sometimes when I'm flustered I say it when I sort of really don't need to. Example: When I was driving semi I got pulled over for speeding. 61 in a 45 - Whoops! Anyways, when the cop handed me my ticket? I said thank you and told him to "have a good one." I FUCKING TOLD HIM THANKYOU FOR LAMBASTING ME!!! That BASTARD didn't even give me the 5 over deal - he actually wrote me for 16 over! Do you KNOW what that does to your insurance! FUCK! Fucker! And I told him thank you!!! What the HELL is wrong with me???? SHIT
I freaking hate that and I need to figure out a way to make myself stop.
It's WORSE than pre-ejaculating during sex. Yeah, girls can do it too. Well, I don't think I ejaculate but I can come waaaaay to soon if he get's me all super extra crazy riled up before we start the real thing. YAY for being super crazy riled up but so NOT Yay for one.....two... uuhh oohhhhhh OOOHHHH oooooooommmmmmm :) :) :) :). Uh-Oh. Crap. shitshitshitshitshit.
Ah well at least girls can keep going and act like nothing happened. And ya know I think we should get credit for that! Seriously I go strait from the O! nonstop into uh-oh, think-girl-think! And on into the pulling-out-of-all-stops mode to get that boy DONE. NOW. Poor guy never knows what hits im. Of course sometimes that backfires when I start to pull out my special get-im-done-quik-tricks and he's in let's go slow and be lovey dovey mood. Then I have to fess up so we can stop and start the process all over again. Hooray for doubles but only when I'm not dead tired ya know?
Ah well folks. What'cha gonna do. But for real, how am I going to stop this pre-ejaculating of the thank yous? It's got to stop.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
18 comments:
~wipes Lindystar's chin~
You got a little bit of that on ya.
I don't thank inappropriately. I apologize inappropriately. I preface my complaints with "I'm sorry" or "Excuse me."
Oh, and female ejaculation? Not a myth. Just don't google it at work.
Hi!
So this is what you do. You do know about your toes involuntarily curling up in agony just before ka-BOOM!! ? So you bunch those lil' tootsies up tight when you have the urge to TY inappropriately. Thinking of your tight toes makes you forget to TY.
Or wear a rubber band on your wrist and give yourself a SNAP when the urge comes on to TY.
This G-rated Hor has gotten rid of a lot of vices, but I'm hangin' on tight to my Southern Fried Fella -- there's no getting over him for me.
You're welcome.
Ima, thanx for the chin wipe (eeek you're funny!)
We can complain with out saying I'm sorry and "I'm sure it's not YOUR fault" a requisite of no less than 5 times???
They need an Anon group for us.
Yeah I guess not but I seem to be lame, kegles or not I'm just not one of those Kool chicks.
Rosies - If I start thinking about the tight toes I might forget to speak at all. And take my change. And my groceries.
But I'll give it a try. Honestly, I'll even post about it.
Ow, no rubberbands I'm sort of accident prone with those.
Good luck with S.F.F. mmmmm at least he sounds yummy. :)
I have a ton of comments, but will only grace you with the top two:
1. Wal-Mart? We shall add "consumer" to the types of HOR that is Lindsaystar.
2. I have a similar issue with courtesies, in that whenever I go see a movie, or play golf, or go to an event, the cashier will say "Enjoy the movie/course/lap dance," to which I always reply "You too." Fuck.
Lindy, you are clearly secretly British. The Brits say thank you ALL the time and they also say 'Sorry' all the time too... so if you are say rushing to get somewhere and carrying a big bag on one shoulder and you sorta push past someone and whack them with your bag, they say 'sorry' as if it was their fault. I've been here so long that I do it now too... I need a SorryAnon!
I think you should substitute FUCK for the word THANK. I've had excellent results.
I love the twits who say they're fine when I haven't asked them how they are doing. I don't give a shit how they're doing...unless they're doing ME.
I'm Canadian. Ironically, I'm a complete bastard when it comes to these things.
Blog Portland - Walmart, I know, I know, how sad - but the groceries ARE cheaper.
OH CRAP I forgot about saying the "you too" to the movie clerks! Ahhhh that's the worst right? Wow that is so cool that I'm not the only one on earth to do that though, thank you for sharing BP, you've made me feel that much less like a freak.
Sparx, Ooooo that's a gooood one! (the example you gave) I'm on that train too. What, oh, you hit my shopping cart with yours? I'm sorry. Wha?? Well at least I know if I jump the pond for vacation they might not hate me as much if I can out sorry them.
Dyck - Fuck You for the comment, as always it's fucked up. (translation, thank you for the comment, as always it's apreciated)
And darling maybe they're letting you know that they are sexy-fine (not I'm ok fine) and that they're out of your league. ;)
Alan - Yeah, Canadians are assholes.
I thought I'd just drop by to say hello, how are you? Glad to read from your other post that you're still happy & in love.
Lizzie x
Premature acclamation is a very real problem. I'm sure one of the drug companies has a pill for it.
Lizzie- You're so wonderful and proper and sweet and -GOOD- I always feel slightly ashamed when you come here. It's like when a guest shows up if your house isn't tidy. But I love your site and DO apreciate you coming. And yes - two bugs in a rug in love. :)
Sgt - Oh my it could be true. You're funny but there's some scary truth in that joke.
"Canadians are assholes"
No shit, you fucking dumbass. Yeah, that's right. We swear a lot too.
Since when am I against swearing?
Oh yeah, ditto for me too! For both! Sigh...
DJ - :) ha ha :) thanx for sharing!
god, and me... fucking canadians the lot of us.
Sparx - ahahahhahaha you tell it!
;)
Post a Comment