To whom it may concern:
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm very happy that you've found my site and also have come to the realization that you LIKE coming here a couple times a week. I'm always flattered to have another person come along and decide to become a regular reader - it really flips my cricket. But here's the thing, I noticed that every time you come here it is by way of Google. That's cool, I do that sometimes if I forget something, no biggie. BUT it's been quite frequent that you come to me by one particular Google search and I was sort of thinking that maybe I could extend to you some directions that would make it a much quicker process.
Next time you come or RIGHT NOW simply go to your favorites box at the top of your screen, click it and then click ADD. THERE! Good. Do it now.
Good deal. Now when I look at site meter everyday I won't see a Google Search for -
"Anal Sex with my sister"
Yeah it just about makes me fall out of my chair and want to hide underneath my desk every time it comes up. I might be a hor but damn dude that's just some fucked up shit and it's not what I need to see first thing in the morning. And for fucks sake what the gall damn hell are you doing searching for that on the INTERNET??? What are you expecting to FIND?? Your sister isn't HERE and hopefully she's not there with you. Go screw a goat or something but leave your damn sister alone, she's probably got enough to worry about living in a hick town like that. Ok! Well I've got to skedaddle you have a great day NOT SCREWING YOUR SISTER.
Sincerely,
Your friendly hor
Also whoever got here by way of "Sex Suck Kuck big women ass" I have a ghetto booty, get it right and don't you dare say I have a big ass again.
And while I'm on the subject WHY are you people coming here by way of "Nasty Mexican Sex" WHY? I'm sorry but I prefer my Mexican nice and showered. Why would you want a dirty mexican to have sex with you? KEEP EM CLEAN!!
Further more whoever searched "Mexican Bitches Sex" Don't you call me a bitch. I'll kick your ass comin up in here callin me a bitch. *head weave back and forth finger in your face* It's BEOTCH punk, get it right.
(Actually Chino and I were playing around yesterday and he accidentally forgot the "eo" in the B tch and I had to give him a stern reminder on how to play the right way. Silly boy. Yeah and if he could get skank right it'd be great because when he calls me a skunk I can't help but laugh.)
AAAAANnnnn for KRISSIE I'd like to share just how helpful Google really can BE. Someone got here by searching for "hor fuck" and Google asked them - "Did you mean 'Horse Fuck'?" The sad thing is we really can't be sure.
Ok Ok one more but on a serious note. Whoever got here searching "It's gonna hurt like crap to forget you poems" I'm very sorry for what ever loss you've experienced and I sincerely hope that even tho I don't do much poetry that you'll manage to forget about shitty stuff for a while when you come here. Let the hor make you feel a little better, that's what we do. Feel better :)
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34 comments:
Interesting search keywords. Best of all, now someone will also find your site with "Horse sex with sister"
You should be so proud
It's my baby I'm obligated to be proud ;)
I'm sooo glad I have a private office because you have me laughing so hard this morning! I sure needed it. Thanks ;o)
I just can't believe what people are searching for....and then winding up on your page! I need to check my site meter, too, and see what's happening there. Oh yay! Something else to distract me from being pissed at my job today!
Boy, I do one little Google search so I can look up strap-ons to anally please my African-American girlfriend, and now I feel just HATED ON!
:o)
@~ellen~: lol.. it took a second to register what you meant. Now I'm laughing. A lot.
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
And, Sgt, I have a sister. :o
Just keep Lindy's horses away from her.
Christ on a cracker,it would seem that some of the individuals frequenting your blog are serious wackos. How can that be?
English might be my mother tongue but I’m not sure I understood every turn of phrase from the Hor there. But I will say this: I heard it ain’t easy to teach a goat a thing or two about pleasuring a man the proper way. But remember people... if ya wanna screw your goat, do it in private. Better yet, in any society, understand that there must always be limits to personal freedom. Hor, ever hear of that famous Mexican, Dirty Sanchez? I bet you have...
Ellen: too hysterical. People in the hall are starting to look at me funny this morning.
This reminds me of a conversation I once had with my mother (no, really). Once upon a time, I was a Porn Hunter for a filtered Internet service (the kind of thing people install for their kids). Yes, I was paid to look for porn online.
My mom asked me, "How bad can it be?" I told her to imagine the most disgusting sex act she could, then understand that someone in cyberspace has taken a picture of it and put it online. And someone else is searching for it.
Blogget, Thank You and you're welcome :) Have fun with site meter but just don't eat when you read it.
Ellen - Aren't you so clever! It took me a minute but you really cracked me up. :)
Sgt and Krissie you guys - well I just don't know. But if I ever send you a Christmas card you betta believe I already know whats gonna be on it.
Stan - I learned about Dirty Sanchez from South Park. That and the hot carl, glass bottom boat, and blumpkin. It's quite an educational program.
Blogget - Holy crap what a job!! Did you have to inform people that their spouses or children were looking for it?
It's so interesting to see how people find your blog...
David - thanx? Sometimes I can't tell if comments like that are sarcasm or not but I'm going with thank you. Nice to have you here :)
Oh, it was both an enlightening and frightening job. As you can imagine! The only time I had to tell someone that their loved one was trying to do the beast with two backs with their CPU was when I got abusive emails from someone wanting something UNblocked.
Like this kid in St. Louis. He was 13 and trying to put up a porn site of his own. He even tried to say, "This is Junior's dad writing now and I say it's okay to unblock my son's site now." Really - that's about word-for-word!
After about 15 of these, with all kinds of colorful suggestions of what I could do with that filter, I called his mom. She was not happy.
She particularly loved the page where he said, "Come to my house and have sex with me and I'll give you a t-shirt!"
What a job, indeed....
Blogget - Oh my lordy. 15? God I think I was riding my bycicle at 15 and wondering about what it would be like for a boy to kiss me. (late bloomer much?)
Gggeeeebus.
your brother always did like you more than you liked him...
And on the wholesome side... I found your blog about a month ago, when somebody emailed me a link to a post someone else made on their blog about a kid who had gotten lost on the beach... because i have kids...and we live on the beach. I was up late and bored, so started clicking away on different blogs, which brought me here, to the 4 star HOR hotel, where I landed and started reading and laughing my ass off, and have been back every couple of days since. =)
Fan-fucking-tastic! Can you imagine what kinds of people search that shit??
Jeremy - Hey neighbor!
Katm - AAAAAWwwwwwwww :) That's neat I do wonder sometimes how people get here. And thanx :) (*blush*)
Sassy - People like me??? Not, kidding, although I know I've searched for some pretty goofy stuff in my day. "How to give good head" Hey don't judge everybody has to start somewhere.
Can't remember how I got here, think it was a link from Sparx, anyway I've been reading for a few days and you crack me up. The post on 'rabbit' was hilarious and I have a little prayer you might appreciate.
THE LORDS PRAYER
My vibro, which brings me heaven,
Rabbit be thy name.
Til kingdom come, thy makest me cum, on earth with eyes on heaven.
Give me this day my daily thrill & forgive me my screams, as I forgive flat batteries.
Lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from frustration.
For thine is the rotation, the power and the buzzing, for ever and ever.
No men!
Self Employed Mum -
Oh my dearie ahahahahahahah that's the funniest peice of sacrilige I've seen since Dogma.
Oh! I'm gonna print that off and put it in my lock box of toys!! AHHAHHA thank you so much for sharing!
ahahahahaha "for thine is the rotation, the power and the buzzing...." ahahahaha I can't stop reading it.
Ah Haaaa, Ok ok breath, alright,,, alright
I have this in a text and I read it weekly keeps me laughing, it's the flat batteries bit that gets me, picture the scene - hubby on nights, kids in bed, all settled ready with the imagination and the batteries go! Back up to search for new batteries only to discover you're one short. I now buy mega packs of batteries and keep them stored safely with the rabbit!
LOL!! About the batteries! Love it! Funny thing is I do that, too.... Keep them all together so I don't get mad and throw Friend Rabbit when I can't find batteries. THAT would be hard to explain.... "How did the window get broken??" uhhhhh....see there was this big rabbit.....
And katm -- "4-star HORtel" Too funny.
And HOR-gal, that kid was 13! I couldn't believe that. You're right - such things were no where in my imagination at that age. He was the youngest of eight, I learned. That poor woman had her hands full!
Self Employed - I've been known to rob the T.V. remote control, my c.d. player and my tetris hand-held game. (Ok well the solitare hand-held and the sudoku hand held games too.)
Tricky to not remember to put the t.v. batteries back before falling asleep and getting busted. :)
Blogget - haha I keep a pack in my lock box with bunny too. 13? oh CRAP I thought he was 15!! 13? JEEEEZ I was just getting over barbies at that age.
It's always amazing to me how people find my site, too! I'd say the majority are looking in vain for letter writing advice, but there are some I can't even repeat. I'll have to chalk that up to my potty mouth working in conjunction with the wide range of topics I cover. It is entertaining though.
A recent favorite-"i am sorry i am stealing from your store"
WTF?!
I am crying with laughter... I don't do that much...
hahaahha... you rock, lady! Been lurking on your blog a while, finally decided to delurk. :D
Who gives a damn what the bad hors say, hey!
(Yes, that's what happens when a teen reads your blog. :P)
PS: Got here from Sparx's blog.
O dear - You really DO cover a wide range! Some of them are kind of scary right? Heebeeegeeebeees!
Sparx, YAY I'm glad you're happy :)
Suki please tell me you are a teen like 8teen or 9teen and not forteen?? Please, just so I can sleep at night.
Sassy - People like me??? Not, kidding, although I know I've searched for some pretty goofy stuff in my day. "How to give good head" Hey don't judge everybody has to start somewhere.
LOL.. I'm gonna go google that now. I have heard this though.. Any head is good head. ;)
Patti - Maybe I should do a post on that ;)
love it honey x
you'll have to make a bigger comment section....
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