You all know that I love to have "Me" time now and again. And again. Alone or with toys it's a great thing to do when you have the time. It's even encouraged by the sex guru's because they say you have to know your body to be able to teach someone else about it. So really, I'm just doing the right thing you see.
A big part of my ME time is always elaborate fantasies - I really LOVE it when I have the time to plop down on the couch and make up a big ole scenario in my head to get me worked up and worked on out ;)
A couple of years ago (ok like 5) though, I had a dream about being with a woman. I'd never really thought much about it before hand but that dream inspired me to really access how I felt about being lesbian or bisexual. I didn't really NEED to access this cuz I just sort of know I'm strait but I was younger and curious so whatever. I've never had a problem with gay or lesbians I've got a very close gay relative, my parents are hippies (need I say more?) and I live near a nationally known small town famous for it's gay and lesbian population. It's never been an issue in my life because I've always been around it and it just seems natural to me to love who you love (not children mind you) and not think twice about it.
So ANYWAYS when I started getting curious about what it would be like to be with a woman my fantasy life really opened up. I evaluate my feelings on the subject of "Being" with a woman quite regularly and always come up with the same thing. I'm intensely curious about what it would be like to have sex or touch or kiss a woman but have no interest in being in a relationship with one. Hor much?
Over the past year and a half my fantasies about being with a woman have really taken over and lately my FAVORITE has been one where I put an add on Craig's List - some goofy ass add explaining myself clearly and having someone in a similar situation respond. (Don't worry Jaybird it's ALWAYS a stranger and in fact I have NO INTEREST in being involved with anybody I know, it'd just be freakin weird) We hit it off conversation/chemistry wise, things develop from there, and TA DA!! Curiosity satisfied.
The bad thing about this particular fantasy is how close to reality it comes and the fact that I COULD do it. I get SO into the fantasy sometimes that I fantasize ACTUALLY going out and doing it - but luckily after I'm "done" I always come back down to earth and feel icky for even entertaining the notion. I love C. WAY too much to go insane and cheat on him.
PLUS right before he and I met I actually had an offer from a lesbian friend of mine - she REALLY wanted in my pants but it was too weird because I KNOW her and I also know that it's possible she'd get emotionally attached. AAAAAAANNNDDD I think I pretty much chickened out anyways. I couldn't even bring myself to really talk about dirty stuff with her so BUUUCCK BUUUKAAAWWW!! I probably just don't have it in me.
Why am I sharing this with you? Hell if I know, I guess maybe I just feel the need to get it off my chest, and ya never know maybe there's another chick out there like me that'll read this and not feel as weird about her own fantasy life.
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42 comments:
Ok, i just about peed my pants when i heard this, holy cow! really i'm not very surprised because i remember a few comments and such i've heard *ahem* over the years and plus your just very opened minded.
go girl go!
Wow you haven't commented in forever, this really brough you out of the woodwork ;) But you got my disclaimer right? I'm not gonna be hitting on you or lookin at you sideways or anything :) And I'm not bi, just curious about what it's like. XOXOXO's Talk to ya soon? :)
yeah, sorry about that. i don't get much time to play on the net these days :)
i know you wouldn't hit on me or anything like that even if you were like that.
call me later, k?
Yes Mam!! Maybe we can meet up for a nigth cap *wink*
GGGGGGEEEEEEEWWWWWW too creeepy to even type without getting the heebeejeebees! My bad.
You're too funny...love the "heebeejeebees" comment!
What gets me is that your fantasies are so much more elaborate than mine....you actually include placing an ad, the meeting, etc. Mine are more like, "okay, there's this Super Bowl party full of guys, and me...."
;o)
yeah way creepy *shivers*
hey maybe this weekend we can all get together unless you two have plans already.
we don't the kids this weekend and it would be nice to get out of the house for something besides work, that is if i can pry j away from mommy for awhile.
I want to know how many of your male readers had to spend a few extra minutes sitting at their desk after reading that . . . just waiting for things to 'die down' a bit. Or how many of your female readers are wondering if their period started a little early. (Gross I know, but it sounded better than 'moist'.)
I agree with Blogget - I love how in depth your fantasies are! I'm more of an 'okay - you're here, I'm here, let's get it on' kind of daydreamer. I so fantasize about being with a woman - and the only difference about my other woman fantasy and darling husband's other woman fantasy is that he isn't there. Curiousity may have killed the cat, but I pretty sure he had fun until it did!
Ha! I'm with you, chickie, I have fantasies so elaborate that I can easily spend an hour just GETTING to the good part.
:o)
You better hope Rosie O'Donnell doesn't read this. She'll be all over you like a box of Krispy Kremes.
Ah, you're doing the world a service by posting these deep-seeded fantasies, huh? Nah, you probably are. Nice work.
As for me: actually, the thought has never crossed my mind. Ever. I've been boy-crazy since I was 5 and chased my b/f around the kindergarten classroom and planted a big sloppy one on his lips. I was hooked right there, surrounded by play-doh and finger paints. Of course, the teacher told my mom and I got in trouble. Maybe that's what hooked me the most - the danger.
I'm with blogget and driving - my fantasies are as follows: Okay, pretend that we're here and we're doing it......Hey, I'm a busy woman! Get to it!
In college, my best friend and I would hit the dance clubs and party. Once in a while we would get hit on by a too-eager guy that just won't take no for an answer, so we would peck each other on the lips and sort of hint that we were lesbos. When that didn't work, we frenched. In the back of my head it always sort of surprised me that it was just like kissing a guy if I closed my eyes. But other than that, I never had the desire to go further. I wouldn't even know what to do with her boobies. Lick 'em and kiss 'em like Hubby does to me?? And me going down on another woman? Ew. No thanks. I'll leave that to the men and the real lesbians.
@Jenny: Because we all know, making out with other girls will make guys go away.
Yup, here is another chick reading with the same fantasy. Doesn't everyone fantasize about being with a member of the same sex at one time or another? I don't know, it's not something I dicuss with my friends, don't want to scare them away, lol. I do have one friend (a co-worker)who I wonder about, she has a boyfriend but she may be bi. A while back we were talking and she said she's not gay, but she would do it with a girl (alone or in a threesome) if the girl was really attractive, and I totally agreed, because that sounded about right to me. Ever since she's kind of touchy-feelie with me, nothing sexual, just more than the usual amount of touching between girls at work. Maybe we bonded as friends, or she's just playful. BUT, if she makes an actual move on me, I'm going for it! No threesome with the boyfriend, ewwww, he's not attractive at all. Umm, I really should stop thinking about this, it may never happen, or if it does-it may not be as I expected, ah, who knows.
Blogget - Maybe it's kind of like the erotica I like to read - I want the good 'N nasty but I want woo-ing and plot and stuff leading up to it dang it.
Driving - It took me 3 times to read through your "curiosity killed the cat" line to get it. AHAHAHAHAAH I'm so slow but you're worth it! That gave me a good laugh right here at my desk. :) And ha ha to hubby too :) Poor guy ;)
Ellen - Isn't that GREAT to do when you have the time? Sometimes I can go on and on just thinking stuff up and eventually have to actually make myself get to the point.
Dyck - What kind of Krispy Creme?
Cruiser - :) I'm picuring KinderCruiser running around in 1st grade - too cute! I rememeber there was a girl like that in my kindergarten class - Jessie - She was bigger than all the boys and would chase them around and drag them under the big table in the room and make them kiss her. I didn't really understand and was kind of mortified but I DO remember being jealous when she kissed JOEY - god he was so cute!! I really didn't like her after that. (ah hell I was just jealous)
Jenny - Of all my blogpals I would have pegged you for doing just that. :) You're the best.
Alan - That was funny :)
Rosa - OOOOO you go chica!!! MMMmmmm I think I might use that scenario as my next fantasy - Thank You! But yeah, no boyfriend that would kind of ruin the whole thing wouldn't it? You'd be worrying about where he's pokin around and wouldn't get to focus on the real task at hand. Good luck!
My close friend from college stripped to pay her way through school, so you can imagine how "free" she was with her body. (No, she wasn't the least bit skanky though). Anywho, whenever we would go out (both had boyfriends) and guys wouldn't stop bothering us, we'd make out for a minute and then leave. Nothing sexual feeling really, but man the looks we got from those assholes who thought they were God's gift to women...priceless!
**We didn't often go out without the boyfriends in tow, but there were times...
Sassy? SASSY? EEEEEEE!! When I pegged Jenny as the one to do the girl-make-out-to-fend-off-boys blogger I would have pegged you as the exact opposite! You are certainly mult-faceted miss "I'm a prude." :) Hope things are going better for you. :)
See, now my fantasies seem a little inadequate. I haven't thought them through thoroughly enough!
I'm torn between maybe it would help and maybe I don't have time. I got a little "me" time after all the lights were out last night...and I feel asleep in the middle of it!! Maybe a more complete fantasy would keep me from waking up in a compromising position....
IF I were forced to label myself, it would be "straight." Fortunately, I don't have to label. ;-)
Oh, one more thing. I've been crazy busy but I finally responded to some of your questions on your "Sometimes I Want to Play With Myself BY Myself" post.
Blogget - HAAAA!! Sometimes I fall asleep too :)
IMA - No need for lables here ;) Questions? I'm headed that way!
Is this every woman's secret fantasy? Coz I've had it too. Actually once acted on it with a pal... and it was pretty crappy. No emotions, whaddaya expect? Well.. I didn't know then, but now I know what NOT to do hehe!
Funny, even though I'm perfectly happy with the boy, I have that fancy in bits and pieces. Touching a girl, kissing her, all the bits except licking the lady flower.. which gives me the heebeejeebies!
These days turning that attention to myself basically fulfils that no-longer-secret wish. Which is nice.
Glad you aired this one out!
This email thread is my secret fantasy :-P
Mrs SgtRedline claims to not have any interest in activities with other women. She has mentioned that on a few occasions when my hand has ended up in more intimate places while she was asleep she dreamed it was one of her friends and was a little weirded out. Apparently not enough to freak out and run, so maybe its deeper in her psyche. Who knows. I'm guessing I wouldn't be invited if it did happen. Too bad too. The female friends she has that are always hitting on her at the club are pretty hot!
As for me, I have never had any interest in any sort of relations with guys.
you being with a chick is my secret fantasy, too.
Rising Blogger - :) Yeah that whole thing with no emotions would suck I bet. That's why in my fantasies I get to know the chick first. Sorry about your crappy real life experience. But hey at least it didn't ruin your imaginary life :) Thanx for commenting, nice to have you. :)
Sgt. - What is your had doing in those places when the poor chick is trying to get some shut eye? HUH?? Leave it be! ;) Kidding "accidents" happen. Actually - that makes me remember, a couple times when I could tell that C. was having a vivid dream instead of waking him up I've manipulated certain body parts just to see if I could give him a happy dream. I quit that tho after thinking about what it would be like if it were a nightmare and I started messin with his junk and it got incorporated IN TO the nightmare and scare the guy half to death. So yeah, no more of that, if he wants a dirty dream he's gonna have to get it himself. TMI?? Never!
Jeremy - Hey! I figured this'd draw you out of the woodwork :) And really I'm always happy to help out with a fantasy so this ones on me ;)
Glazed, of course!
Ow, fuck. Ow. To all of you intending on acting out these secret fantasies, learn some impulse control. Why the FUCK did I just do that.
PS. Ow.
Mighty - What is UP with everyone being in love with the glazed?? What about the bavarian filled chocolate glazed? REALLY.
Alan - You're an idiot.
XOXOXOXO's
Well, it wasn't no-emotions as in I don't know her. She was my best friend at the time, or so I thought. But erm.. being in love is a bit different, ya know?
So no emotions in the "in love" sense. But it still sucked. To have great making-out or anything such with a person, you gotta love him/her. that's my vote.
This is so funny. I've definitely had my fantasies too, and they are funnnnnn, but for me, they are much better as fantasies. I've had opportunities - a number of them - but when it comes down to it I guess I just don't want to REALLY do it with a girl. Sure it fun to fantasize about though, for whatever reason. The kissing a girl thing, to make a guy go away - I did that once, didn't really work. Then another time, years ago at a party a friend and I were verrry drunk and dancing, and getting a lot of attention, so of course we had to slut it up, and do a little provocative lesbo dance for the guys (hey, this is Hollywood, baby.) Later we were in line for the bathroom together, and one of the guys who had been ogling us on the dance floor was in front of us in line. He made a very drunken and sincere plea for us to please make out in front of him. We looked at each other and shrugged, and went for it, right there in the hallway. It was awesome! Then went on with our friendship like nothing. Never even thought about it again. I guess I'm just not gay. Cest La Vie.
Well. Well ;)
Love to give it a try once. Too scared though. Not about how crappy it might be, but about how it might be really good. And then what? Make an agreement with the husband? In theory that's all okay, but in practise? I'd have to see it before I believe it.
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