How To Find A Street Hor Worth Her Pay

Gals? I'll do a Man-Hor Tip post tomorrow (perhaps?) but for today it's for my lonely boys. ;)

Okay!! I feel it would be a shame if I didn't share some tips of the trade with you guys out there reading. And by "guys out there reading" I mean you all that are often in the market for for the paid presence of a woman. I'm thinking my buddy DYCK could use a few pointers these days. Poor guy's gotta be so amped up by Sassy that he's going out of his mind. Dyck, Sassy is all that is wonderful, and I'm sorry but I don't think she's into clowning around any more.

By my pal RYANS last post I'm thinking he needs to get laid kinda pronto. He waxed quite beautifully and disturbingly about the all encompassing sexiness of Kenny Rogers. And he's not gay. If anybody needs to get a quick lay it's him. Just wow.

And then there's Jeremy. Jeremy surpasses even Dyck in the nasty bastard sonofabitch category and I'm sure is quite the frequenter of the ladies of the night.
No offense to you boys at all, folks've got to get laid on others've gotta make a dime so here's some tips to get your moneys worth.

Let's get to it shall we? Good Hor Findin 101:

Sensible Shoes. If I'm lyin I'm dyin folks but if you get good at scouting footwear you're gonna find quality more often than not. And here's what I mean - If you see a hor out there in shoes like the first ones to your right, move along. These shoes are TERRIBLY uncomfortable and scream "I AM A NEWBIE." Look at the angle of decent from heel to toe, it's almost freakin vertical and is gonna hurt like hell. These are most likely her first pair of hoe-in shoes.

You MIGHT think that HEY! A newbie is a GOOD thing but really? If you're looking for a good damn time with somebody who knows what they're doing and is gonna give you your tokens worth you don't want that newbie. These dang shoes not only say "newbie" but they also tell you that this gal's gonna be tired, in pain and isn't going to want to put on the best "pre-show" by doing a bunch of dancing around. She's gonna want to kick of them heels PRONTO, and just lay back and rest for a bit. She's also not gonna be much fun or too full of energy to really give a good time.

BUT! And of course this is probably obvious but for the posts sake don't go for one with TOO comfortable of shoes. I.E. A worn out pair of White Keds (turned brown/grey by age) circa 1992. Geeewwww I'm just not going there. Self explanatory folks.

NOW!! On to the real deal, the shoes on the gals you SHOULD be lookin for. These gals will for sure have on high heels - it's not JUST for looking sexy, some of yall are too short and some too tall therefore removable stilts come in handy for certain stand-up-positions. A good, experienced but not yet worn out girl that's got some smarts, is gonna be in some ho-lookin heels with the secret of comfort. I.E. to your right once again. Just look at them beauties! They scream pole dancin hooker but if you look CLOSE you will see that the angle of decent from heel to toe isn't vertical like those above.

They're really not bad at all but the fact is hidden by all of the shininess and leather and coolness. The front platform addition is a toe-saver! This gal is gonna be feeling just fine-thank-you-very-much, no tired girlie there. Her sexy sensible shoes will tell you that she's not a newbie (gonna know what buttons to push on your ass for sho!) AND that she's not a worn out helga.

Ok enough with the in depth look at shoes, here's some quick tips to help you out.

2. Ask her if she minds going out in your vehicle to a secluded location with nobody around. If she says "Yes" - PASS. If she's fine with the prospect of getting axe-murdered than in the past she's probably been fine with the request of going condom-free and boy-howdy DYCK I'd miss you if you got the AIDS.

3. You're at the Bunny Ranch, don't pick the prettiest girl in the line-up. This girl is gonna KNOW that she's hot and isn't gonna give much of a damn about putting out too much effort. She's gonna thing (and for some rightly so) that she's so hot all she has to do it just BE there and you'll do the rest just fine on your own. Go for the good but not greatest looking bunny and she'll be more apt to put some fire into the play.

4. If she adjusts her crotch at any point during the interview you might want to check and makes sure you're not on the trany-side of town. Unless you swing that way and then hey good for you.

5. If she has perfectly strait, pearly white teeth - PASS, she's a cop. I'm not saying go for snagletooth but really if she's been professionally whitened you might just want to steer clear.

6. Ask her what some questions about music. If her favorite gal singer is Hanna Montana you just move your ass along and find someone over 21. Be slick and ask her favorite Nirvana song. For shits sake if she says Nirvana Who? And doesn't follow up with an "I'm more of a Garth Brooks kinda gal," then move your ass along.