C's story and Clum I Am

C. is being held in a holding facility (immigration jail) waiting to see a judge. His Dad brought him to this country when he was a little boy, he didn't make the decision to come. He was put in school here and went on to graduate High School. He grew up like any other American (transplant) kid - and moving back to a country that he barely remembers, has no history in, job, home or even much knowledge of - never seemed like a real option to him. Hate him if you want, I don't care, he is my heart and my life. But before you hate or judge, humor me and imagine YOU reaching to the age of 18, graduating high-school and coming to the realization that you don't really belong to any country. Imagine having people telling you to "go back where you came from," even though you don't know where that place was.

I'm not writing this nearly as eloquently as I imagined or making my point the way I wanted. I'm a tad biased and involved if you can imagine.

Through circumstances that I can't go into he's been brought to the attention of the INS. I was planning to petition for his citizenship but shit happens/happened and we didn't get a chance.

No, us being married doesn't help in any way, new laws, a new time.
No, there is no naturalization or immunity because he's been here so long, or because he was so small when he came.
Yes, I've spoke to several lawyers now and there is no chance WHAT SO EVER of him staying here.
He's going to be sent "back." (1800 miles away!)
It'll be most likely 2 months of him being "held" before they get around to doing it.
That's it. End of story.

We've got a plan (ok and 2 back-ups) for what we'll be doing to get him back (legally thank you) or at least us living in the same country (again, legally). SOME country.
I want to be able to share what's going on so I'm just plain coming clean with yall. That and I can't keep my mouth shut.

I've been visiting him in the jail - OMG JAIL!! But thankfully for people in his situation they DO have completely separate holding areas, my sweet baby isn't roomed up with bubba that's killed 10 people, and for that I am terribly thankful.

ALRIGHT!! Ready to lighten up? I sure am. WHEW.

Okay, so yesterday when I drove to visit him (only an hour away, thank goodness.) We had our once weekly 40 minute visit where we sit on stools and talk by phone through 2 inch glass. (not really complaining btw, I'm just so happy to see him) The stools are really low to the ground and to see him well I was sitting on one of my legs to prop me up higher.

When our time was up and I got up to go, I so SO did not realize that my leg had fallen asleep. For real you guys I never even felt the pins and needles! Aww man so when I stood up to walk I had no feeling in that leg and a tumbling down I went. BIG TIME.

I heard popping and snapping and all sorts of things in my ankle and because it was numb had no idea of what I had truly done to it. I had to sit there and wait for the feeling to come back to access you know?

Oh my gawwwdd but MEANTIME as I was sitting on the ground holding my ankle poor POOR baby C was behind the glass staring in horror at his lovely chiquita all mangled on the floor like an idiot. He saw me go down but he couldn't HEAR me tell him that I was fine. I kept waving him to go on and kept trying to tell him that "ha ha, silly me, I'm fine" because I didn't want him to get in TROUBLE because he wasn't getting his ass moving!

A nice wave of nausea swiped over me and I felt the blood draining from my face and it was all I could do to keep smiling at him and waving him AWAY so he wouldn't get tazered or something - all the while trying really really hard not to puke down the front of myself.

And THEN my head started to buzz and I got that feeling you get when you're going to pass out and my vision started to go but C. was still standing there and I swear to heaven I willed the faint away and kept on smiling and waving him away.

When I first fell the other visitors in there were really kind and seemed genuinely worried about me. I got offers of help from a Russian family, a Chinese man and a brown guy that looked like he might own a 7-11. They kept offering to help me up and stuff but I kept telling them that "No, no I'm fine, I just need a minute" - because I didn't want to take even one minute away from their visiting time ya know?

C. FINALLY went on his way with a worried look and I was so damn thankful. I put my head down to the floor and tried to get some blood back into my brain. You guys I SO had to go to the bathroom and I was afraid that if I passed out I'd lose control of my bowels like a dead person. Yes, that was my main concern, screw a possible broken ankle, I am NOT crapping my pants!!

Everyone went back to what they were doing and I laid there like a fleece-covered scarf be-decked beached whale for a tad, until I got up enough nerve to try and stand. I managed to get up and decided that I didn't break anything and tried to walk. HA-HA-HA, ok so there was no walking to be had but I'm a good Hopper. I think my ghetto portioned ass gives me a low center of gravity and gives me good balance.

Turns out I'm not broken just nicely sprained and black and blue and a bit gimpy but all is well. I didn't faint and shit my pants or piss all over so I'm calling it a good day. DO people loose control of their bowls when they pass out? I've fainted a few times but never when I had to "go."

C. and I are going to be fine, we'll be seperated for most likely at least a year but I will try and save and fly to see him at least a couple of times. I'll have my passport in about 3 weeks and I'll be all set for when he get's sent "back."

In the meantime I figure I should brush up a bit more on my Spanish and figure out how to say things like "Oh, I'm ok, just give me a minute." "Ooops, sorry" "No, I don't think it's broke." "Where is the hospital" (donde un hospital?) Hey! I think I've got one, that's cool. I'm on my way.