Since turning 25 I've been getting "carded" less and less. I've always LIKED being carded, and it's painful to have it sllowwwly wrenched out of my hands like sally struthers and a snack-ie cake.
Wait. Slowly? Never fucking mind that! C. and I went out to a nice restaurant like a month ago. It was our first venture to a nice place together (and the first in his LIFE for him) so we were
What better way to loosen up then say, order a few drinks??? Why ssooortanley! As we were ordering I coyly got out my little purse to get my card and the waiter turned to me and said, I SHIT YOU NOT - "Oh....(shitty look as he onced over me again, and headshake) no, you're fine." Turned to c...... "But I'm going to need to see yours."
And that ladies, gentlemen and hors, was the end of my youth coming to a blunt screeching halt. I was bewildered as I watched chino scrounge around for his I.D. Gazed dazedly as the waiter put it practically up to his fucking snob nose and inspected every square inch of it, and FINALY announced that he was good.
Oh NO THE FUCK HE DID NNNNNOTT FUCKING just do that!! Dear Bitchcrack could you not have thought for a couple of seconds before throwing out a fiery dagger strait through my little moisturized, chemical peeled, microderm abased body strait into my heart? Huh dickwad?? HUH!?!?!?! WHAT THE GOD DAMNED FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?! And to give me the withering, who are you trying to fool lady?, sick fuck look that you gave to me when I tried to hand mine over before you said anything?
Isn't your pay like 80% tips? Seems like you would think about that before throwing out a fuckwad comment like that.
I hope you go to hell and have to gargle Satan's cum after every time he fucks you in the ass.
Ok so THAT went a little far. I apologize, I don't hope he goes to hell, that's really not nice, and I'm honestly not that evil. (But I'm not backspacing it)
So anyways our food was good and maybe he's just stooopid or wasn't thinking or was having a bad day. I don't know but I still tipped him 25%. I read too much Waiter Rant (the blog), and I know that sometimes I have retard moments that I'd like to go back and shove a boot in my mouth, (every day) so I couldn't really bring myself to tip shitty.
So that's that. I kind of feel better now.
Douchebag.
18 comments:
How is this even possible? You don't look 25, in fact, you look about 19 or 20 to me. Must be that great skin?
If it makes you feel better, if I ever have a party, I'll card you.
He DID NOT tell you you were OK and then asked for his ID!!!
What the fuck??!
I hope you still hope he goes to hell so that would make two of us.
Sounds to me like he was hitting on Chino.
I cannot stand waitpersons (see, I can be p.c.) who throw attitude. If they are so unhappy being a server (p.c. again), they need to move on. 25% is way too much for that guy.
LOL @ patti's comment. Yah, maybe.
Also, I just read your update on the cat thingy.....that's really quite funny, actually. Hope they don't kill eachother.
It's good to know you can forgive people and still call them douchebag. That is a talent you should cling to for the rest of your life. And wait till your holding your baby and some dumb ass says, "Oh, how sweet. Is that your first grandchild?"
Ah, sweet child! LOL! So you posted a photo taken some years ago. Maybe you should post a recent one!
Boring advice: 2 things are really bad for your complexion: tobacco and UV. And your skin looks new! I use factor 15 every day, but then we don't get really strong sun here yet. I don't know what you'd need in MI.
Lindygirl-Perhaps, and this is just a suggestion, you might have overreacted just a bit? I'm sure he was, in fact, interested in Chino, and there is no way that, at ripe old age of 25, the days of you being carded are over. While I look younger than my (ahem) 36 years, I got carded until I was about 28. Now, the fuckers just card me when they are trying to kiss up to my geriatric ass for a bigger tip. Note to wait staff and bartenders: It won't work. I tip well for good service, not compliments.
Note to wait staff: I *do* tip for compliments.
Hahaha :P
I was at a restaurant yesterday, one I don't go to very often. I don't think I've been to it in years.
Anyways, I was there with about 20 people, and my food actually got here in about 10 minutes. As opposed to the usual 30 minutes when I'm there with a couple of people, sorry I just realized I don't have any point to this story. I'm mostly nocturnal and it's 7 PM. I am off on a quest to get red bull, and I'm goign toenter this quote even though I have no reason too. Sorry.
Travis, there you go again with the great skin. You're not a waiter but if you were, I'd be tippin you pretty well.
Ohhhhhhh wait. I get it.
oh. ahahhahahaaahhah
Thank You Krissie, WTF indeed.
Patti, aaaahhh ha. But no he was just an ass.
Cruiser? What the hell is P.C.? Now I feel stoopid.
Thank You Helen, you're very observant. ;) For real did that happen to you? Cuz damn. Fuck that asshole with a corn cob fo sho.
Rob, that pic was taken just a few months ago thank you very much.
And thanx for the advice but luckily I'm already on the banwagon. I don't smoke and wear my Spf 15/wrinkle-cream/anti-acne potion every day. (btw how very metro of you ;) )
Sassy? No. I stand firmly on the "he was an ass" block.
Alan? It's ok. But how about a bit less R.B. and a lot more sleep? K?
gosh, untill what stage of life in the US is it customary to ask for proof of age in a bar? The pub in my village pretty well goes on whether you're wearing school uniform or not so this is indeed a social rebuff I have not encountered recently.
rilly - For real?? We've got to be 21 in most if not all of the U.S. I think it's 18 in Canada.
It's very strict. Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to be more like where you are. That way it wouldn't be such a HUGE taboo and we wouldn't have 15 yr. olds begging people to buy it for them just because it's "so cool" to rebel and do something wrong, whatever, and end up being alchoholics by the time they are 18. Of course then we'd have even MORE 16 and 17 year olds driving drunk and killing themselves. Hell I just don't know.
AAAAANNNDD by the way welcome to my blog and thank you for commenting!! :) It's always great to have a point of veiw from someone far away.
Back in the day I was married to a man 11 years older than I am although he looked, erm, much younger. When I was a mere 25 and he a ripping 36, he got carded in a bar and the waiter didn't even look at me. He lorded it over me for a long time after that. Maybe it was his purple hair. Bastard waiters.
One more thing. Remember that our faces lie, but our necks betray us. (Somebody else said that, of course!) I expect you already put the goop on your neck but don't forget the backs of your hands. We learned about 'old hands' far too late.
Sparx? Sometimes you really REALLY surprise me.
Poor Rob, sorry bout your hands. ;)
BTW, 19 in Canada. I just slept for 14 hours, and I'm still tired. Staying up for 2 days was a mistake. I don't think I'll remember writing this, so don't bother replying.
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