I Skinned my Knee trying to Kick a Ghetto Cats Ass.

Update again. She's back to being just stoooopid as usual and not being a crazy beotch any more. And I'm going to buy that squirt gun.


Update: My fat cat that got attacked has lost her mind. She thinks her sister is the one that kicked her ass and hasn't stopped hissing and growling for about 24 hours. Every time the little one walks by the big one goes into extreme defense mode and flips her gourd. And the poor little one doesn't get it AT ALL. I tried to put them together and show her it's ok but she went all stiff and catatonic (hahah pun) so I quit and now I don't know what to do. Too bad I'd rather be shot than call a pet psychic.


Sometimes on a nice day we open our door, leave it open and sit outside. The house airs out and my Kee-kats come out on to the little porch and sit and stare in wonder. They're house cats so being outside freaks them right the hell out.

Lately they've been getting a little braver and will venture out on to the grass. (but only under my supervision cuz there's a road) Think sweet cat pictures with butterflies and happy faces and gag a couple of times and you'll get the level of cuteness they aspire to playing around outside for the first time.

And then there are the Ghetto cats. We've had the same big male cat come up and spy on my beauties from a far for a couple of weeks now, every time they come out. My gals have all the brains and instinct of a cow so they're pretty much oblivious of him even when he's 20 feet away.

I thought maybe Mr. Ghetto was just tryin to seek out some new ho's and figured that he would at some point would realize that deez bitches neva come in heat because dae be fixed.

Anyways, yesterday we were doing our peaceful sitting outside thing and Mr. Ghetto cat started getting close. I thought (stoooooopid) oh how nice he's going to sniff noses and butts and try to whoo my bitches.

Fucking NOPE!! He got within 10 feet and my fat cat started hissing her ass off, (but didn't run, that's my girl!!!) And that fucking ghetto trash attacked her. Not nice, calm down bitch I'm just tryin to check out cho merchandizze fighting, but for real they were SCRAPIN. I've never heard such noises in my life and I flipped out and ran up to the big ball of fur and scary-ness and started to scream and stomp. Yeah, that did a whole lot. But eventually mr. Fucker saw me and freaked out and ran off a little ways.

My girl ran into the house like fucking greased lightning and I decided to take off after Mr. Ghetto with the magazine I was holding in my hand. I'm not sure what the hell I was thinking but I'm pretty sure if I would have got close enough I would have hit him with it. (I was a little flipped out, forgive me ok?) Anyways he ran across the street and was heading to go under somebodies house and I circled around to cut him off. He was a bit dazed and I was for real gonna get close enough to at least THROW my woman's day magazine at him. (for real what good did I think that would do?) But just as I got close he sprinted right and I went to cut his ass off and didn't realize that there was like a FUCKING STUMP sticking up out of the ground and well yeah, I sort of ran into it and fell down and rolled a couple of times and ripped my jeans and skinned my knee.

Fuckers lucky I'm a clutz. Just sayin. N-E ways by this point some of C's friends had showed up and got to witness my beautiful grace and were laughing their asses off at me.

S'okay, I'm used to it, tuesday I tripped over a LAWN MOWER at work in front of my boss and 3 co-workers. I turned around and just didn't see it ok??

So. Lesson learned. - Don't be a douche bag and think that Ghetto folk have good intentions. Idiot. And for the thousandth time watch where you're putting your feet.