Ok not so Fabulous.

Ok Sunday. We bug bombed, stashed our cats in our other car and went to the movies. When we came home there was a strange car in our parking space with two of our neighbors standing around it talking and a guy sitting inside of it all by himself with his windows rolled up.

All I could think was Holy Fuck are these people ALL freaked out by the cats in the car??? Oh. MY. GAWD!!! But turns out no. Turns out that this guy chino works with and has talked to a couple of times that we also saw in a bar the other night decided to pay us a visit.

But here is the thing - our new visitor? He's deaf. But not just deaf he doesn't know hardly any signs, just the alphabet. But the alphabet doesn't really help him much because he never really learned to read. He grew up really poor in Mexico and his parents didn't know what to do so they just did nothing and made him watch the family cows. He knows a few words of English and some REALLY REALLY basic Spanish. And like I said hardly any signs. I can sign the alphabet and this dude can do some crazy magical charades. OH my gosh if you pay attention and he goes slow he can give you a lot of information about his life just through his own personal form of charades. It's kind of amazing to watch.

But anyways our neighbors were all over there trying to figure out what the hell this dude was doing sitting in front of our house for or THREE HOURS. We thought we had made plans to go out with him next saturday but he thought we meant the next day. So he sat there and waited for us.

(By the way you might have realized by this point that you have been bamboozled cuz this post isn't really all that funny but I don't know what to do so I'm coming to my internet pals to dump this on and beg for advice. Just so you know, and I promise I'll go back to being funny tommorow.)

He and C. "spoke" at work a few times with their made up hand motions and some written spanish. And then after meeting ME at the bar and being able to communicate with me somewhat, apparently he has come to the conclusion that we are his new found saviors. He doesn't have any real friends, only his brother that brought him here from mexico like 10 years ago and of whom doesn't have any real interest in teaching him anything.

And the other problem??? He is Mexican, and has no english speaking friends or family but all of the sign books he has that he has been trying to teach himself are in english. He showed up at our house AGAIN last night because he STILL didn't understand that we wanted to go out Saturday. We had to get out a calender and teach him what the names of the week mean, so now he gets it.

Both times that he's come we all sit at the kitchen table and go over his book and he points to stuff in his book and we try our best between the two of us, my abc signs, english and c's spanish to help him understand what they mean. Food, baby and stuff like that are easy but try explaining the difference between regret and remorse. It took us a half hour to explain Noon, Mother, mistake, and random. Ok so we ended up giving up on random and I felt like shit.

He told us using his charades about seeing a car accident on his way to our house, more about his family and has mentioned again and again and again about wanting to have a family. That is his primary goal. He wants to find a woman and have babies. He wants to be loved. OH and damn it would you KNOW he's picky!! The man for all of is lack of knowledge is NO dummy he's freaking intelligent for sure and he wants a good woman. He wants her to be attractive and to not already have babies. That's nice but HOW THE FUCK is he going to DO that????

Granted he has a decent job, a car, he's decent looking, funny and REAAAALLLLY Nice but. . . oh well shit you KNOW. Anybody know any intelligent attractive women without babies that are looking for a severe fixer-uper???

On the for real front I don't know if they have sign language for spanish or if it's all the same or if he should just stick with the ASL (american sign language.) We have some college courses around here that teach ASL but they are for crackers like me that speak english and can read and shit. He needs somebody like Helen Keller or something and I'll be damned if I'm that person. I'm impatient and I suck ass a charades.

I'm going to do my best to do some research and try to find out what I can do to help but if anybody knows ANYTHING I'd appreciate the heads up.

This is a big ole mess I know, and I know that I can't take in every stray that comes my way but this one is a good one. He doesn't drink or do drugs or ask for ANYTHING but to have the chance to learn. But I'm not the right person for the job. How the hell do I find a modern day Helen??? Shit.