Fuck fucking shit I HAAATE bugs! OH ew ew eeeeew. When I first moved into the Mexicans bachelor pad I soon came to realize he had (oh god I can hardly type it oh jesus) freaking cockroaches. And for honest to G-d fucks sake he didn't even seem to mind. I'm not sure how a sweet mostly intelligent guy can just not care but there they were in all of their horror.
Anyways I do believe I blogged about that experience and the massacre that followed. Yay!! bugs be gone.
Well I'll be shit fucked if last week I didn't see another one. WTF?? How is it that in 24 years of living I've never even SEEN one of these little bastards and now, in the last year I've had to deal with an out right infestation?? How??? Be shit damned ghetto I bet that's how. Everything is at the fault of the Ghetto. Whore.
OH OH OH!!! And I KNEW that if I saw one that that damn mexican would have too so I grilled his ass and lo-an-behold that little beaner had seen one TWO weeks ago. AAAHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEWWW. Oh oh no fuck ew fuck ew he didn't. And he had the audacity to tell me that he didn't mention it because he knew that I would freak out. Excuse ME???? I don't see anyone freaking out. Really what is he talking about? What-EH-ver. I see someone that doesn't want to live in a horror show and be killed by sheer terror of living with monsters or eating monster infested food, thank-you-very-much because bugs are monsters. Asshat.
Anyways I do believe I blogged about that experience and the massacre that followed. Yay!! bugs be gone.
Well I'll be shit fucked if last week I didn't see another one. WTF?? How is it that in 24 years of living I've never even SEEN one of these little bastards and now, in the last year I've had to deal with an out right infestation?? How??? Be shit damned ghetto I bet that's how. Everything is at the fault of the Ghetto. Whore.
OH OH OH!!! And I KNEW that if I saw one that that damn mexican would have too so I grilled his ass and lo-an-behold that little beaner had seen one TWO weeks ago. AAAHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEWWW. Oh oh no fuck ew fuck ew he didn't. And he had the audacity to tell me that he didn't mention it because he knew that I would freak out. Excuse ME???? I don't see anyone freaking out. Really what is he talking about? What-EH-ver. I see someone that doesn't want to live in a horror show and be killed by sheer terror of living with monsters or eating monster infested food, thank-you-very-much because bugs are monsters. Asshat.
LOOK at that picture. They have fucking skulls for faces. Monsters. End of discussion.
So anyways Sunday I plastic wrapped my fish and snail tanks, turned off all appliances and bug bombed our house with approximately twice the recommended amount of spray cans. Fuck it, either the fog kills them or it burns down our house just as long as they are dead. I can't be brought to care.
Oh and the cats? Yeah here's the AWESOME ghetto idea that my jumping bean came up with. Since they would get beat up and DIE if we left them outside for 2.5 hours he came up with the most brilliant idea of throwing their asses in our other car while we were gone. It was nice cool weather so I don't want any animal cruelty bullshit, they were fine.
I did feel slightly bad though when I went to take the big one (the one that got beat up by the ghetto cat last week) outside and SWEAR to God she grabbed on to the door frame with both front feet just like in a cartoon and tried her damnedest to hold on. Luckily I know this little walking trick called reverse. Silly kitty.
(Our house didn't burn down but I HAVE to tell you what we found when we got home cuz it's ghetto fabulous but I've already typed too much for people to read anyways so I'll see yall tommorra.)
27 comments:
Did you take that cockroach picture yourself? lol
Yes, that's how cool my camera is. It shows the TRUTH. Bugs = monsters.
Lindygirl-My dad is in pest control, and he told me that the bigger they are, the longer they've lived. Blegh! I probably wouldn't have stayed at the house all weekend though, bug bomb or not. And then you gotta sweep the disgusting dead shits up when you get back. Gives me the willies!
Oh ew and thanx on that whole bigger/older comment Sassy. Freakin gross. Ak. Plewww. SSSSS.
I didn't find any bodies on the floor this time, I think I got to the prob pretty quick. 4 sightings total and my ass was bombing. I haven't had time to go through the cupboards yet. Oh god ew eew ew ew ew.
That's some camera ya got there! Can I borrow it to take a picture of my husband? I wanna see what's REALLY inside!
My grandma had roaches, always. A million bug bombs wouldn't kill 'em. GHETTO roaches. Money'd disappear out of your wallet at night 'cause they stole it. I learned to always take the second dinner plate off the stack, never the top one. Never knew what had just skittered across the top one...
You're tagged, Danielle!
The Moaning Meme
http://www.blogcharm.com/rosies1/73028/The+Moaning+Meme.html
Have fun moaning (complaining, rather than orgasmic) some!
Haha! You got tagged again :P
I've never seen a cockroach before in my life. At least not with my naked eyeballs. And not in anyplace I've been living. But once I was in bed and this HUGE spider was on my headboard, and I woke up and freaked out and smushed it with my hand. It was so juicy I had to go wash my hand because I had spider innards all over my palm.
Ew.
OMG.. I hate them, the dirty bastards. We had them at the restaurant I worked at. They are VERY HARD to get rid of, and they used heavy duty bug killers.
I hate spiders too travis. I can't even kill the fuckers, it grosses me out.
Danger - Eeew ew ew. Plates? ew. Ack that's the crappiest part now that they are dead - the whole I have to sterilize every thing in my home -thing. Shit.
Rosies? You are funny and christian and all and when I'm on your blog I stay respectful of that but now that you are here? Sorry but I am calling you out as a HOR for tagging me. It would be rude for me to discriminate and I call everybody that tags me a hor so you are a hor now, congratulations. hor. :)
Travis? You little bitch I don't usually re-tag but guess what?? You were a little bitch and laughed at me so consider yourself TAGGED. AND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWW fucking ew. You did NOT!!! squish a bug with your bare hand!!! OH OH MY GAAAWWDD!!!!!
OH and by typing the word "indards" you just let your kinda in the country upbringing show a little bit. Just so ya know :P
Patti? So darling are you going to TELLLL us what eatery that might have been?????? Cuz ew. ew. fucking ew.
Testing check one two. New name.
Sure why not..lol
I'ts called the Ninety Nine's (99's)Restaurant. There all throughout Massachusetts, maybe even beyond that now... not sure. They were bought out by a company name O'Charlies, but they kept the 99's name. I think the O'Charlies people were out towards your area? maybe?
Cool thing about living in the UK now is that they hardly have any gross bugs, and mosquitoes? only seen may two since 2005.
Why the hell don't they have bugs?? No mosquitoes? Do they not have water or something? OR are they just way cooler about mass pesticides???
I don't know why Lindy, it does rain a lot here but there's hardly any mosquitoes....it's weird. They do have bugs, but I don't think they even know what a cockroach is!
What does bug the shit outta me, is that they don't use screens in there windows... strange huh?
So have you ever heard of the 99's or O'Charlies?
I THINK???? O'Charlies??? But never been to one. Not that I will now. No screens on windows? Like open air?? Screw that shit.
LOL
Well I thought everybody knew that there are cockroaches in most restaurants. I've been a waitress for many, many, many years.. (that's right I'm an old fart) and I think there has been maybe two of them that I never saw one, and I worked in some pretty upscale places too. It be a good question for the waiter...lol
Yup, open air. I'm in a ground floor flat, and I get all the neighborhood cats jumpin in for a visit... sheesh
Bug bombs often bring them down from the attic so that they land neatly on the stove top, making you feel all fabulous and shit.
UGH! Roaches! We had them all over the place when we lived in Louisiana... Hubby told me that when he lived in Hawaii, they grew to be over an inch big and FLEW!!! Then he kindly went on to describe the crunching sound they make when you step on 'em.. feeling queasy yet?? That's how I felt!
I feel your pain with the bug bombing.. I am about to flea bomb the house again next weekend.. We are using double dose this time.
I am fine with the roaches, although the summer rains seem to be driving them in more than usual. We bomb once a year, and usually end up stuck at the dog park all day waiting with our three mutts.
Now spiders? I have no truck with spiders. I once sat, frozen in fear inside of my car, while a brown recluse dangled inches from my face, happily spinning from my sunvisor. I just can't handle them. Little bastards must pay for their sins.
Bugs are the devil.
Is it ok that I'm in love with GEOFF cuz he said "bugs are the devil?" Cuz that would be cool.
Sassy? You might want to check him out he's a hater like us.
Patti? No friggin way I honestly didn't know. I've already sent in a question to the Waiter but yes that'd be another good one. Ug. Ug boots!
Steve, In my super clean last night I found some underneath the stove top all neatly dead and roasted. I was wondering what that new spicy flavor was. Talk about fabulous.
Jenny, I'm sorry to hear you've still got the flea thing going on. Ahhh fuck that. Beware thought if you really are gonna go double remember to shut of your refrigerator and everything. I don't want to have to set up a blogger fund cuz your house blew up. So turn it all off and kill the ever living shit out of those bitches.
Geoff, I mentioned above that I am now in love with you because you said that bugs are the devil and then I re-read your post and saw that you said that you are FINE with roaches. So yeah I'm not sure I love you as much. Ew.
BROWN RECLUSE???? AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Notfunnynotfunnynotfunny. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND fuck.
Did you kill it? I have to have to use a shoe or something because I am so pansy that even a 1 inch thick stack of napkins or kleenex isn't enough to make me feel safe. Gewwwwhoowhoowwwwwwwwa.
Dearest Lindystar,
Thanks! Actually I may seem X-tian but I'm actually a very nice Pagan. Yup, there are some of us Pagans who are nice and only wear black because we're fat.
Glad to be a Hor -- kewlness. But yeah, the meme said don't insult unless they're nasty or really really ugly and Babs Bush said the Katrina survivors from the Superdome were better off than b4 Katrina because the Red Cross gave 'em credit cards with $$. Nevermind that they were homeless; they were better off and that just fries my refried beans even now and she's super ugly on the inside and I live in Florida and had her dumb-ass son as Govenor when we had hurricanes here and ya think there was insurance help when our roof got blown off? She and her sons suck hippo weeny but George the First is a rather good humored ol' dude. lol
You'd crap your Hor panties over the Palmetto bugs we have here. They hiss and fly and can get to be 3 inches long.
Whoops that was a long comment...but I'll wear my Hor badge proudly, grrrl.
{{{Danielle))) <----Pagan but not lez, not that there's anything wrong about that, [but ya know]hugs from Rosie
Monster bugs, gotta love that. :)
rosies - Whoops!! My bad I just now noticed your last comment. Pagan? I'll be honest I don't know what it means, I'm kind of lame like that but hell if it floats your boat then go for it.
The old bag SAID that??? Holy shit, K now I get it. Geez and damn what an idot. Sorry about your roof that sux donkey balls. I hope you guys got it fixed ok.
You have giant bugs that hiss?? HISSSSS???? Fuck that. I'm sorry.
Don't worry I love long comments it's like having a pen pal or something, and thank you for the platonic hugs. Is there a stereotype about pagans being gay??
Nocturnal? Monsters are only funny in cartoons not in my house. Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Kill it!??!?
I'm still sitting there, frozen!
When I was 16, a recluse bit me on the neck. I thought it was a cyst or a zit or something, and 2 days later I collapsed at school with blood poisoning. When I woke up at the hospital, they were lancing it and filling me with tubes.
So I make my wife kill the spiders. I is a coward. You should see me flail/seizure when someone says there is a spider on my shirt... Whee...
Fun Fact: if you see one roach, there is a good chance you have 1,000,000 roaches in your walls!
Geoff? You and your little 1 million roach fact can go to hell just so you know. I wish I had a fact like that about spiders for you you bastard.
OH holy shit!! That spider fucked you up!! I had a friend get bit by one and it really was quite horrible, so yeah at least you have an excuse for your phobia.
Does your wife laugh at you when she has to kill the spidies?
Holy Geesus, you crack my shit up. Truly. I hate bugs too, with a purple fucking passion.
Thank You ANON :)
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