Ghetto Sex VS. Hillbilly Sex

I've lived in the Ghetto for almost a year now and I've come to some conclusions about the similarities between Ghetto living and Hillbilly living. I thought it would be a whole new world filled with all sorts of different people and scary things, but really when I stop and think about it, we're the same people - just with a different twist. And Ghetto people? Well they're just as scared of Hillbillies as Hillbillies are of them.

For Example: Guns.
When I moved here I thought "Oh dear there will be GUNS and shootings and I might "get caught in the crossfire!" But honestly do you know any self respecting Hillbilly without a (4) gun? I'm not afraid of getting caught in the crossfire while I'm out running anymore, but you sure as hell won't see me out in Hillbilly country wearing anything LESS than an orange hat, vest, and perhaps a giant sign that says "I AM NOT A DEER, DON'T SHOOT!!"

Every year we hear lot's of terrible stories of folks accidentally shooting each other out hunting. Folks who own horses around here even have special orange blankets for them to wear. OR you can always do like my neighbor back home and SPRAY paint "HORSE" on both sides of your horse. He always uses white paint tho, seems like he should use orange just to be safe.

Yeah I know it's not the SAME kind of killing but hey if I'm shot, I'm shot people.

OOOO!! And Drugs! This one makes me laugh, :) I was worried about lots of drug dealers and scary people in the city but do you know where the drug dealers get their drugs FROM?? Ask yourself can they REALLY grow a 50lbs of pot in their apartment? Hell no, they get it from the "Hippie Hillbilly" that lives in the country and grows a field of the shit. The hippie lives off the land with his garden and does his yoga and tokes up the fruits of his labor every day. He'll share it with his family and good friends around hillbillyville and sell it to the friendly neighbors down the road and everybody just thinks he's or they are just "that nice older couple."

But not even a super-toker hillbilly and all of his friends can smoke up a whole field of pot, and THAT's where they make their cash. Not as much as you'd think tho, they sell it pretty cheap. It's when the same baggie has been cut down from the original buyer of 10lbs to his smaller buyers (gotta make HIS profit too) and on and on and on from buyer to buyer until a single joint costs as much as the original hippie hillbillies cost per pound.

And don't we always hear about meth-labs being made out in the middle of nowhere? I used to LIVE in the middle of nowhere!

Stray Cats are "Barn Cats" in the country and "Alley cats" in the city.

A daddy in the country stays awake out on the porch for his daughters boyfriend to bring her home, and a daddy in the city waits up out on the stoop.

Janice in the city is pimped out by her neighbor pimp but Glenda in the country can pimp her damn-self out at the honky-tonk.


Ok so I don't know where I'm really going with this. It is what it is folks and we are what we are wherever we may live. (cliche much?) :) Ah well, I'm out. I'm off to Chicago for the next 3 days and I'm not scared one bit. I'm a hybrid ghetto-princess-hillbilly-tom-boy and I think I'll be fine where ever it is that I end up.