I started a new eating plan last week. Whatever right? Who didn't?
Anyways I was really into it, fruit/flax/soy smoothie in morning, brown rice and veggies for lunch, brown rice, beans and veggies for dinner. Snack? Fruit. I was actually happy for like 6 days and really enjoying the food. Honestly, I love some fresh summer veggies.
But then yesterday one of my co-workers brought in doughnuts. FUCK and they were my favorite! I figured I could have one and just skip some stuff later. (what the G-d hell I KNOW better!) One turned into two (omy fuck no they were bavarian creme!!) I didn't eat lunch (gee cuz the 200 calories from my veggies were going to matter at this point?) and ended up starving when I got home. That turned into me eating a white bread and turkey sandwich, and then some Cheetos and then a candy bar that was for some god forsaken reason in the house. And then some more candy.
I can't deprive myself of sugar and then fly off the fuck-up deep end and eat a shit load of it all at once. It sends me into I'm-a-super-dumb-ass-binge mode. I go insane. On the way home from work I forgot I was driving a stick and coming up to the first stop sign killed the car from lack of shifting OUT OF NEUTRAL!!!
And then I went to sleep. For real I've not been getting enough sleep so I figured fuck the whole day and went to sleep at 7:30.** Woke up this morning and the scale had jumped back up the 3 precious lbs that I had lost. Was it water loss in the first place or water gain today from the insane eating yesterday? OR how A-FUCK-BOUGHT my body hates me and turned it all into fat in a matter of hours because it hates me? How bought that? Seems the most likely really.
Today is a new day. Fuck yesterday it can suck my non-existent balls and die. Or no, how about yesterday can suck those GIANT ass balls on the rat in the picutre below. Holy SHIT those fuckers are huge.
**I'd like to ad a disclaimer that I do know that going on a psycho diet and depriving myself a lot of shit mixed with no sleep is a disaster waiting to happen anyways but this is how I chose to roll, my bad I DO know better.
18 comments:
sleeping is the best weight loss plan around. shoot for 8-9 hours a night, and drink an ass-ton of water when you get all doughnutty.
i lost 55 lbs in two months just sorta cutting carbs and drinking water. processed sugar is the enemy. get a cheeseburger next time!
love the blog. take care.
Hi geoff!! Nice to meet you :) I know I know I SOOO need more sleep. Hell fire I wish I could GET IT!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh.
Anyways. Thank you so much for saying you like my blog :)
Lindygirl-Get OFF the scale and measure! And get right back on that horse, so to speak. Oh, and not to add insult to injury, but 2 Bavarian Cream donuts are a wee bit over 200 calories, I'm thinking.
You need to add some kind of sweet stuff. I recommend sugar free jello. XOXO
Sassy, uh yeah two of those bitches are like 1200, that's why I was saying that skipping the sad sad veggies wasn't going to help. Ick.
I'm back on this stupid horse today no worries.
But the tape measure? Hell, I can tell by the fit of my jeans and these bitches aren't any looser. But OK OK I'll get it out just for the hell of it to look back and see a couple of weeks from now.
But you're not taking my scale away. You'll have to kill me and pry it out of my cold fingers.
I love suger free jello, it really is the shit. I need to get some pronto. :)
You are obviously not busy today! You've changed the blog template again! However, I'm certainly glad the hairless rodent with the ginormous sack isn't the profile picture. It's creepy! And chill..I'm just saying that you shouldn't hyperfocus on the scale. It's your scale, sister, I don't want it! lol
If I could lose 55 lbs in two months, I might walk around naked ALL THE TIME!
Oh seriously!! 55???? I will be such a hoochie when I get to my goal weight. Skanky will be more like it. And I don't care.
Sleep. Sleeeeeeep. My mostest favoritest thing. Seriously, 'cause #2 is eating and #3 is sex. In that order.
I lost about 40 pounds several years ago. The first thing I did was buy myself a boob job and a TON of Victoria's Secret thongs. Oddly, the husband had nothing bad to say!
Nothing to say? Was he dead? Did you kill him if he wasn't?? Wtf? I want to get a boob job when it's done!! How cool would that be!!? Right until I watch a couple more episods of Dr. Berverly Hills or whatever and get the SHIT scared out of me.
I wish I could get on Extreme Makeover. Free surgery by the best? Who wouldn't go for that?
Oh freakin hell yeah!! BUT!! It's one of those situations where you'd have to be WWWWAAAAAAAAAAYYY ugly and have to apply. And what if you didn't get picked? How sucky would that be??? I'll stick with my mediocre and big chin and just stay on the treadmill and hope for the best.
But I really really really FOR SUPER really would like to get that lazer hair removal. Like everywhere. Wouldn't that be bad-ass to never have to shave again???? OMG. It's a toss up between that and boob job as my reward for reaching goal weight. I guess it all depends on how the "girls" turn out.
(sometimes it hits me that I really have no concept of tmi, but oh well)
My problem is eating late at night... I skip lunch thinking 'hey, I ate breakfast, I'll be fine' and then I eat half the kitchen while making dinner and have about 5 helpings. My prize for losing the next 20 pounds might be an eyelid lift... heck with it, I'm going to need an entire body lift... take the fat out and the whole she-bang is going to collapse...
Laser hair removal and that for shit cosmetic dentistry! That would be cool...
Thanks for giving men a chick-blog that they can actually enjoy, since it is practically cute-puppy-picture-FREE! And thanks for your interaction with us over at SomaCow!
J
I just finished a piece of strawberry angel food cake with a bowl of vanilla ice cream on top as I surfed to your site tonight.
How much do I have to eat before the pain goes away?
Flax is like eating oily wax. I thought I would be smart and get a bag of it to tide me over when I was in between meals. No carbs, low calorie.
Eeeeeesh.
I'll tell Geoff that he is way off on the sleep thing. If you ingest enough caffeine to kill a beluga whale, you get all jittery and your body self-exercises.
I've lost a pound doing that and I've only been on the diet for 5 years.
You know, I actually have to make an effort to get to 130 lbs? I'm sure that most everyone does, but from the other direction :D
BTW, that rat must actually be a shaved squirrel.
Sparx- "take the fat out and the whole she-bang is going to collapse." AAAAHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHAH Yeah so maybem I've been thinking the same thing but was actually to shy to mention it. Oh you ARE my hero. I wonder if you get a discout for doing everything at once?
J - Thanx for stopping by. Bitch you know you love puppies too, don't try. ;)
Travis- Was that the same cake you were eating when I called you the other day?? Somebody likes his ass some cake!
Crowd- AAHAHAHHAHAHAH dude you ate strait flax? AH AHA HHHAAA AHAHAHAA I'm sorry, I know that's rude but I couldn't IMAGINE. You've got to mix that shit in with stuff. (and make sure you get the ground flax cuz the whole seed does shit for you) Congrats on the whole lb loss thing, and ya know not dying and shit. (you're one funny dude btw)
Alan? Nope! I saw my mom raise him from birth. The males get pretty big huh?
I wish sleeping would cause weight loss-I'd be about 50 pounds!
I have found that not eating cheeseburgers/pizza/mashed potatoes...sorry, gotta run and get some food.
oh! but before I go, J-you know you love our show ;) cute puppy pictures and all!
great blog!
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